Have you ever wanted to make a phallus that lights up? Well that’s the whole point of this tutorial so I hope so.
“Why would I do this?” one would probably ask.
Well the answer is simple. First off, you don’t need to make a penis. But more importantly, patches are fun ways to decorate garments or accessories, and in this tutorial I’ll be going over a simple way to utilize electrical currents in your design so that you can add another dimension through wearable technology.
Ti make a Mr. Winky you will need:
– plane tickets to Berlin
– coffee (or drug of choice)
– a pair of moccasins from the dollar store
– scissors, thread and needle (obviously, duh, you idiot)
– a spool of conductive thread
– a small amount of conductive fabric
– 1 small LED light
– 1 coin battery
– extra fabric (such as black felt) for decoration (optional for the lazy)
Step -2 – Fly to Berlin
Step -1 – Drugs!
Step 1 –
Now you’re ready to make a Mr. Winky. So you may find you have nothing of use with you and are in desperate need of supplies. I recommend finding your nearest dollar store and purchasing a pair of wool moccasins. For whatever reason, you may think the moccasins provide a firm material of good quality, but you are probably wrong. The wool will be thin (and probably not wool), highly flammable, and the lining will be sticky foam.
After you have your penis-shaped fabric, you should draw up a plan
You see, the idea is to make a small little pocket in the head of the penis where a battery can rest and light Mr. Winky’s eye. you will want to add on each side of the pocket a small piece of conductive fabric. Using your conductive thread and all those other materials, you are going to sew a conductive circuit from once side of the pocket all the way up the shaft of the penis, attach to an LED light, and then all the way back down to the other side of your pocket.
IMPORTANT – YOUR CIRCUITMUST NOT CROSS AT ANY POINT. A helpful tip is to use only a very little conductive fabric in your pockets. Make sure your fabric pieces are not larger than the battery itself, or the two opposing ends of the conductive pocket may touch and the circuit will not work.
When you’ve reached the LED light, you will want to bend the two metal rods protruding from the bottom of the light into flat loops. These will represent a positive and negative connection. If you are using only one light, it does not matter which direction you sew the light into the conductive thread, this will only alter the direction in which you place the battery.
Now that your pocket is done and your circuit is complete, go ahead and add some personality. As you can see, for my Mr. Winky I chose an eyepatch, a mustache, and an adjustable eyebrow to emulate a whole range of human emotions.
Now your Winky is done! Sew Mr. Winky to a backpack, raincoat, or maybe stick him to your fridge. When your feeling down, just pop a three-volt into his head and he’ll be sure to light up your day, however dimly.
