How this semester had started was quite interesting for me. Within the first week, I was asked to visit three exhibitions at three different museums in New York City. I have never had such an “intense” week before. Throughout the entire winter break, I basically just stayed in my dorm room. I know it sounds pretty bad, but what was even worse was that I lived the same life during my first semester in Parsons. Some people might say it is a waste living in New York, which is one of the most awesome cities on earth. Nevertheless, I did not always feel bad or sorry due to my “lazy” life style, mainly because I was really satisfied with the mental 
world I had been building. I believe that good artists must have a fancy world going on in their heads. This idealmental paradise should be the resource of their inspiration. It would allow them to create artwork which comes from their hearts. If not, the work would only be a beautiful body without spirit. And I believed it does not matter where you are, as long as you are aware of that, you are on the right track. So I saw, listened, and thought a lot at home, as I felt it is the place that can give me the most peace. I was happy with how I had been shaping my inner world. However, my visit to those three exhibitions (especially Matisse’s) brought some fresh air to my theory.
Before the first week of school, I have never heard of the name Henri Matisse. (Or maybe I just did not remember.) I should feel embarrassed since I am an art student, but it also allowed me to observe the artwork without any assumption or pre-interpretation. As soon as I put both of my foot on the flour where the exhibition was, I realized the artist is really big, because first of all, it was very crowded of course; also I noticed that people were really patient. They were willing to stare at each of the work for a relatively long period of time. Influenced by the audience, I also tried my best to observe each piece and read all the description next to the work. But soon, I got exhausted, probably because the very crowded exhibit room and the reading I have done. Luckily, I found a place to sit. Believe it or not, I took a sweet 15-minute nap right in front of the prototype of the piece called “Tree of Life”. I remember looking at the piece with my half-awake mind and feeling comfortable and calm. That was where I started to feel the power of this exhibition. Since I have already finished observing all the smaller pieces, I was able to spend my most concentrated one hour after the nap on the work of a lager scale. I found myself 
have a stronger connection with those large scaled artwork. The mermaid was one of my favorites. I felt that I was a part of the picture when I stood in front of it. I kept looking at the picture. I suddenly felt it must be a vigorous ocean in Africa prairie. I did not hear the sound of wave, instead, my mind was immersed in a song people and animals played for their mermaid princess. I felt the burning sensation of the sun and the cool feeling of the water. It gave me goose bumps. How the “diving room” was created made feel related because I do similar things sometimes as well. I felt a cool and refreshing world in it. Just like the shadow of trees under powerful sunshine, it eases the burning pain on my skin and comforted my anxious heart.But that was not it, I saw divers jumping from a cliff into crystalized water. My eyes followed them into the world of light and shadow beneath the surface of the ocean. I heard women laughing on a bunch of rock. They sounded so happy. They brushed each other’s hair with fingers like mermaids. The picture was so beautiful that made ma can barely move to the next one. I truly enjoyed my time in the exhibition. At last, I went back to the beginning of the circle, the “Tree of Life”. 
I probably did not know how to analyze it in a professional way, but I did feel the emotion in it. And I was not surprised at all when I saw Matisse said that this artwork was the master piece of his life. Although it was just a rough draft, I saw the light coming through the wall like the real window in the chapel. The tree was like a river to me. The largest leaves were floating on the surface of the water. But they would not drift away, because they were tied by strings that came from the original point of life. The bottom of the river was very colorful and interesting. Various types of rock, leaves, keys, toys, and countless pieces from daily life made it a beautiful mood board. Even after I walked away, the jingle of the water was still alive in my head.
After I left the exhibition, I realized that I almost forgot they were just
the prototypes of the real work. But even though the drafts were not very delicate, the spirit in them was not a bit less than the final piece. And that was the reason why I felt so into them. What I felt might not be exactly the same as what Matisse had felt, but the power, enthusiasm, passion, memory, and desire of his inner field was showed very clearly. The most important thing I learned from Matisse is that having your own mental dimension is always important, but you should also build a good connection with the reality, in which we live and gain our memory and desire. Once you open the door, fresh elements and inspiration will swarm into your mind and make amazing interaction and reaction with your thoughts. The key point of having an inner dimension is not to block yourself in your head, but to have a bigger world that you have never felt before.
