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Int. Studio- Shift: Final (Selfie)

Dec17

“You’re becoming who you are meant to be, you were once a shadow of yourself, and now you are stepping out of that shade and into the light.”, Blake Groll.

Self expression is something that comes naturally to most artists, although it becomes a touchy subject, and is a question whether we have seen it before or not. The truth is, it doesn’t matter how others view yourself expression,whether they have seen it before, or it has even offended them. What matters is how you feel, and how you desire for the viewer to see the piece, and if they interpreted the concept in a way that made them feel any particular emotion, but mainly the one you were intending.

In my series of self expression through “selfies”, I created 3 images representing me. For my presentation,symbolism is a key factor which is why I chose for the 3 images to have a man done up almost as if he were me or in other words “in my shoes.” The reasoning behind why I chose a man as a portrayal of myself, is due to society’s perception that I carry more masculine traits rather than the cliche feminine. I am more dominant, and direct, which is what society classifies as a more masculine trait. It is also a view of my opinion towards how we are so caught up on what is feminine and what is masculine, and not enough of what we are actually doing. We are more interested in what gender or sexual orientation or race or religion is doing something. Which is why I designed the 3 images to have a man representing me, a female.

The first image is a representation of how society saw me in my hometown of Miami, Florida. It was clear that I had no desire to be there any longer. As it reached a point where I would show up to school with my hair not brushed with no makeup on, dressed in an over sized sweater accompanied by a blanket, which I would dally around with me the entire campus. A teacher once asked me “how do you think the administration sees and feels about you wearing this blanket all around school? You are the student who is entitled to speak for the fine arts department at Miami Country Day School, and you walk around as if you do not care.” I responded saying, “oh but I do care, although not in the order of how you intend on me to care. I care so much, that I don’t care, and am determined to do my best at Parsons the New School of Design, and put all my efforts into my future come back and success at that University.”, even though I had yet to receive my acceptance to the school.

For the second image, I chose to portray my life as seen by others in Parsons and all around NYC. I have a young man dressed in my newly off shade of white and blonde, which I had done in the city, and in my everyday jewelry, makeup and usual attire. A close friend messaged me the day before I created this image saying, “Hey i just wanted to let you know that a lot of people have been asking me if you are ok.” I of course then asked her why they would ask if I was ok, is there something I don’t know about my health? She responded saying, “no yeah, of course you’re physically okay thank god, but you have been posting a lot of pictures with gay guys and drag queens and weird dark and unusual things.” I was completely offended, and in that moment I realized for the first time in my life I cared. I let the opinion of others offend me, and why.. because I was for once in my life embracing who I was. I wrote in a journal post after receiving that message saying, “I know that I am going through the cliche faze that everyone goes through in accepting who they are when they go through what they believe to be an ‘extreme life change’. But If being who I am means losing the people who are unaccepting of who I am, than it is their loss. I am who I am. I am going to screw up, flunk an exam, trip on a rock, dye my hair, go through weight fluctuations, hang out with people who care about me (which will include people with multiple sexual orientations, and dressing habits), and I will do my hardest to succeed and try and make my family proud but I will not change for a second my path way because I have a goal, and in order to that goal I know I have to fuck up… a lot. So i am not going to let any of you out there who have negative comments to throw at me, set me off track.. so back the fuck off.”

Image three is once again a representation of my masculinity through a male figure dressed in a wig with my shade of hair and jewelry, although this time there is an iconic symbol representing the theme of this image imprinted all along his body. This ‘icon’ is a tattoo. According to my family and many others religious beliefs, it is against the jewish law to get any permanent alterations put upon your body. Especially a tattoo, although this law have changed according to some rabbi’s teachings, but most people remain to follow this old tradition, including my family. Well the evening before I left for university I went my behind my parents back and against their wishes and had a tattoo drawn upon my skin. It is of a butterfly charm bracelet that my parents gave to me on my 17th birthday. The butterfly symbol means more than just your average butterfly to me and my family. It representation of my family, and aunt danielle. Who entered my life not to long ago, and has not spent a day absent from it ever since. I had that tattoo done as a representation of my family and my life as a whole. I had it drawn on the pulse of my right foot, to represent as long as my heart is beating i will take another step towards achieving my goal, with my loved ones always by my side. “Butterflies are the fluttering souls of those who remind us to never give up and that you are never alone as long as there is a butterfly in sight or thought.”

Presentation: 

IMG_0584

 

Final Images:

bradenhome copy copybradennyc bradenbutterfly copy copy

 

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*I originally had another image following the three which actually was a photograph of me. Although sadly, there were a few complication along the way. But i believe by having just these three images, portrays my idea of not identifying one specific sex perfectly. The original image, was the most difficult for me to create, so i made a mock up of it. It would have follow along the following short summary and image.:

       The last image, is a photograph of me modeled through words. The words painted upon my body are inscribed in all different directions as a symbol to represent my struggles with reading and writing. As for the words, they are the positive and negative thoughts that people have sent to me anonymously, when I asked for their opinions of me while creating this piece. “You are not the words other say you are, but the words you believe you are. You can always change yourself, but it better be for yourself and not someone else. Or else you will on change for the worse.”

wordsallname

My life during finals

Dec9
I usually am not all for social media rants, or letting the impact of others affect me but I had to write this short essay describing my emotions. I usually don’t let others see this, but given that I am starting my life fresh, and my learning portfolio is a place for self expression I found this little moment in my life most suitable for this site. Recently a lot of instances have been happening that are unexplainably predictable or inspired by what I have been doing and learning at parsons. And it just so happens that an event that made me consider a lot of who I am, during the time of a project I am doing for my Studio/Seminar Shift Class. I believe the piece I am doing definitely depicts, the situation I am, and I am so sincerely glad I am given the opportunity to express myself through this assignment as well as through my Time, and Space and Materiality class. Following this paragraph I am writing the descriptions of my assignments, and following that is the short essay I wrote involving the situation going on in my life.
      1. Studio/ Seminar Shift: We were given the assignment which we will explore the meaning of self and the image that we put out into the world using photographic portraiture, the selfie, some yet un-named technique. In one image we will show the viewer who we are, and the other can be an exploration
      2. Time Metropolis: I had to choose a topic of time theory, and relate it to something we have learned in this class during the semester. I chose to relate my topic to the theory of time management, and how it is a personal matter to me, and relate it to my struggles, and how we can improve.
      3. Space and Materiality- Community: We will be mapping a personal experience that takes place over time and space.  Than choose an event, situation or timeframe to base your work upon.  This could be a specific hour, or day, a walk from one place to another, a rock concert, attending a cross-fit class, making a meal, a dance party, a nap, etc. but it should be an experience that takes place in a finite amount of time.  After completing a variety of mapping and collection exercises, we will create a multisensory art installation that represents our chosen experience.  Our final artwork must engage two or more of the 5 senses.  Choose materials for your installation that will help shape the meaning of your finished artwork.
      *To see what I will be doing for these projects you must keep up to date on my portfolio 🙂
-Now the essay: 
    For those of you who know me, know that i usually say “i do not care what others think of me” or “that i am who i am, and i am not going to allow the opinion of others change me”. Well for once in my life I let the opinion of others impact me. Just the other day I heard from a few people that people who i considered to be my friends, confront mother close friends and ask them if i was “ok”. If “ok”, means accommodating to societies approval. Than no, i guess I’m not okay. I believe it’s sad to see how unaccepting people are in this day in age, and i know that being open minded person means that you have to be understanding of those who are close minded as well, but how can i be accepting of those who do not accept me. Looking back on the photos I’ve posted, and the things I’ve said I don’t think i could be any happier than I am today. My friend taylor said to me the other day, with her best interest of me in mind, “well if you don’t feel right about what others are saying maybe tone down the drag pictures and postings.” Another friend said to me, “well people have been saying how you flaunt that you are with gay people, and are really out there, although I have no problem with it maybe you can tone it down a bit.” I appreciate those of you who have told me what others have been saying about me behind my back, although it does not really mean much, but it just sickens me to hear that i have to alter who I am, and what i do, and who i hang out with in order to receive societies “approval”. Even though I do not need to justify my case any more than I have, I go to a school where majority of the students like I enjoy being artistic, and there are like many schools homosexual students, and do not attend tailgates, or drink out of kegs on the regular, or post ‘basic’ photographs with the common Rebecca Minkoff bag. There is nothing wrong with any of those things, just as there is nothing wrong with what I do.
   I understand that I have died my hair white ish/blonde, and just have gained a bit of weight (like many of you have as well), and I have changed my crowd of people… but I think that I am finally beginning to embrace who I truly am. My brother said to me yesterday, “You’re becoming who you are going to be, you were a shadow of yourself and so was I.” That one sentence, made me realize I was never myself, I was a shadow. Last month I watched the play Searching For Neverland, and just as peter pan was searching for his shadow because with out it he was not himself, I am finally searching properly and developing into who I am meant to be. My shadow was just a part of who I was, and now just as shadows are meant to be… behind me.
I know that I am going through the cliche faze that everyone goes through in accepting who they are when they go through what they believe extreme life changes. But If being who I am means loosing the people who are unaccepting of who I am, than it is their loss. I am who I am. I am going to screw up, flunk an exam, trip on a rock, dye my hair, go through weight fluctuations, do my hardest to succeed and try and make my family proud but I will not change for a second my path way because I have a goal, and in order to reach my goal I know I have fuck up… a lot. So i am not going to let any of you out their who have negative comments to throw at me, set me off my track.. so back the fuck off.unnamed-2
-I chose to upload a photo of my brother and I, because we recently became extremely close and I learned how similar we are externally and internally. For the record, I used to believe he was adopted till 4 years ago (but thats another story), and until this picture I thought we had different fathers. Also it was his birthday on december 6th, and I thought I should bring him into my personal portfolio a bit.

Int. Studio: Shift- Grand Central Station Project- “The Stalker”

Nov18

The Stalker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7_Gy_4I6Lg&feature=youtu.be

Grand Central Station Movie Project Write up

When I was first given the assignment I was not so sure about what my story plot would consist of. It suddenly hit me, “why not follow the theme of the rest of your pieces.” Which is exactly what I decided to do.

“The Stalker”, is similar to the rest of my pieces in regards to it being open ended. I wanted the viewer to be curious, and unsure about what will happen next, yet have the desire to continue watching. While staring at everyone around me in Grand Central Station, I thought about how you never know if someone is watching you, or if you are being stalked. I thought it was interesting how you don’t know the people around us in a public area, yet we trust them not to harm us and intrude on our personal lives. But what if that happened to you, and you were on a run, but there were people all around you but you could not go to them for help. That is precisely what my project consist of.

It begins with the setting of Grand Central Station front doors, where we are given a glance of the later revealed stalker waiting for her target. If you look closely in the frame, we are given a slight glance of the symbol she has imbedded upon her shirt. Later we hear the sound a girl walking through the doors and in the direction of the train schedule while heavily breathing. We are then given a closer view of the emblem on the other girl, but this time in another color. This suggests for the viewers to make the accusation that the two women have some correlation to one another. Next we are shown a wide angle shot of the stalker, walking towards a police dog surrounded by police. This frame allows the viewer to know that the stalker is in the premises of the station, but is trying to remain incognito. After this the scene consist of the girl being unsure of where to go next, yet also maintains a sense of suspicion and fear. This fear is a continuous emotion that the girl will remain to have through out the short film. We are next given a frame where the stalker is walking onto the escalator. Following that the girl gets on to the escalator as well, still unaware that the stalker is near by. Next, she turns, sees the stalker, the stalker waves. Extreme lose up of the girls face being in immense shock while a folley sound plays in the back of her panting. Scene crosses, to close up of the stalkers face grinning, girl turns. Close up of the girl screaming, folley sound of scream in the background.

I chose to have the climax of the film where the stalker reveals herself on a escalator to give it my own personal touch. Although this does not have any relevance to the film, I chose the escalator to be the place of the unmasking because it just so happens that escalators are my biggest fear. And since the continuous emotion of the movie is fear, I only found it most suitable to take place on the escalator. The moving stair cases also give the viewer that scary movie cliche effect. The fact that the girl has a chance to get away because the escalators are moving in opposite directions, but she chooses to take her time and scream shows the foolishness behind acting. It also hints to the viewer not only does she have a chance to get away, but the fact that the film will continue.

I chose to cut the rest of the film, because as a I stated before, it wasn’t about the main idea of what happens at the end, but what happens next. And the fact that I took that away from the viewer leaves them wanting more. Although I do believe I could have possibly conveyed this message a bit more clearer, I think that it was a great learning experience and intro into the world of illustrative drawing films.

Int. Studio: Shift- Little Italy Group Project

Nov12

Pick a topic to discuss with your partner. Follow the direction that you are being told. Begin discussing this topic with he or she for 1 minute when announced. When speaking to your partner look them in the eye when speaking to them, while feeling the texture of the object that you are given. HAVE FUN IN THE OLD LITTLE TOWN:

1.What is your favorite Italian main entree dish?

 

  1. What is your favorite Italian desert?

 

  1. Who is your favorite italian singer/

 

  1. What do you think about when you hear about the italian culture?

 

  1. If you have an italian heritage how does your family show this culture, if not how relate your italian experience from an outsider’s perspective.