Early on in my life, my grandfather among other older relatives would gift me items to bring me luck. Jade earrings from China, a silver dollar, my grandfather’s chalone and these are just a few. As a child, I would believe in anything if it meant that good thing where to come. I struggled greatly trying to figure out what I believed in. I believed that if I had my silver dollar in my back pocket on the day of a test I would do better. However, it could not be this simple. I lived in a very religious area and I attended Hebrew school twice a week in addition to going to severe on Friday and Saturday mornings. We would have half an hour breaks in Hebrew school to get a bagel and just hang out. One of the most popular discussion topics that always came up was ” Do you believe in god”. I believe in mermaids, wizards, and aliens but I just couldn’t be sure about god. I remembered hearing people recount their interactions with God and saying thank you. It was unclear to me, my Mother said we must thank god for the food we eat and the air we breathe. I couldn’t understand then if God is in control and I was following his teachings why did bad things happen to me. Why did I struggle with dyslexia? Why were my dad and grandfather in the twin towers during nine eleven? Why did my parents get divorced? Why did my dog run away? My mother told me that God would not put things in my path that I couldn’t handle, yet at nine years old I felt Like I couldn’t. I have lived in Israel, celebrated holidays taught Hebrew school and prayed, I still can’t say that I am a believer. I do believe in aliens, and that my grandfather watches over me and I will always carry my tokens of luck
Early on in my life, my grandfather among other older relatives would gift me items to bring me luck. Jade earrings from China, a silver dollar, my grandfather’s chalone and these are just a few. As a child, I would believe in anything if it meant that good thing where to come. I struggled greatly trying to figure out what I believed in. I believed that if I had my silver dollar in my back pocket on the day of a test I would do better. However, it could not be this simple. I lived in a very religious area and I attended Hebrew school twice a week in addition to going to severe on Friday and Saturday mornings. We would have half an hour breaks in Hebrew school to get a bagel and just hang out. One of the most popular discussion topics that always came up was ” Do you believe in god”. I believe in mermaids, wizards, and aliens but I just couldn’t be sure about god. I remembered hearing people recount their interactions with God and saying thank you. It was unclear to me, my Mother said we must thank god for the food we eat and the air we breathe. I couldn’t understand then if God is in control and I was following his teachings why did bad things happen to me. Why did I struggle with dyslexia? Why were my dad and grandfather in the twin towers during nine eleven? Why did my parents get divorced? Why did my dog run away? My mother told me that God would not put things in my path that I couldn’t handle, yet at nine years old I felt Like I couldn’t. I have lived in Israel, celebrated holidays taught Hebrew school and prayed, I still can’t say that I am a believer. I do believe in aliens, and that my grandfather watches over me and I will always carry my tokens of luck