I have finally gotten some emails back from students with their opinions on my essay, and I am feeling really grateful for it. I had started my essay but I knew it needed something more. Having it be a narrative essay, it is hard to view the story from other people’s perspectives. I put quotations around statements without specifying who said the statement. This was an amateur move because the people reading the essay were not there, and they don’t have an idea of who is saying what. I have clearly not written a lot of narrative essays considering I didn’t figure this out, which is why I’m happy about this assignment. I clearly need more experience with this form of writing.
Another thing that a student pointed out is that I mix up my ‘tenses’ in the story, which has always been one of my weaknesses. I used to always have my mom read over my high school essays, and she would usually fix this problem, so I need to get better at paying attention to this on my own.
I look forward to delving deeper into this essay, and improving my writing and my story. It is a powerful story so it needs a powerful portrayal.
Maisie, It’s good that you got the feedback that you did. Gratitude is something I often feel when I get notes back, too. Writing in college is going to require a new sort of independence, both in terms of developing ideas that are new to you (and new to the world) as well as coming to see your own writing with critical eyes. (Paying attention to the tense you’re writing in is hugely important, if for no other reason that that reader must know the WHEN of the story in order to make sense of the essay’s meaning. The hope is that you’ll come to see tenses and a way to express the meaning you’re trying to convey (and not a pesky detail that one has to “fix”). Good work.