BREAKING! Tall, Drunk Giant In High Heels Falls, Dies Attempting To Cross Highway During Rush Hour
We are possessed by poor motor skills caused by questionable alcohol habits.
You are a giant. You partied hard all night, got super drunk, and had a great time. Now, you need to go home!
Some things you need to know are:
- You are very tall
- You are wearing (literally) sky-high platform heels because your legs look killer good in them
- You are naturally clumsy
- You are absolutely WASTED!
- Home is 825739824* highway crossings away
- It is now 7am on a Monday morning
SO, in order to avoid tripping on cars, falling down, and dying, you need to be extra careful in how you navigate your walk home.
Bob your head steadily in order to walk. Keep in time with the rush hour traffic flow. Dizziness is an indicator of health; the more your head spins, the more cautious you need to be. Just cross the road. One foot in front of the other.
*Exaggeration to accommodate inebriation.
This soon-to-be game is inspired by the song “FOUL” (at 21 minutes in) by the phenomenal jazz-rock band Tokyo Incidents. A lyric translation is located here. “FOUL” is a highly energetic song scolding drunken hooligans, featuring a variety of bike horns.