Strength through Passion
I knew early on that I was shy and searched for alternative approaches to express myself. Painting and drawing became my chosen outlet for self-expression and emotional release. Such play was my earliest memory of artistic expression, I found such joy in creating something for the first time, and imbuing it with personal meaning.
However, my father did not relish the fact that art was something that I wanted to incorporate into my daily life. I made my parents aware of my wishes to attend an art middle school where I could begin working on a long term art achievement goal. My father was adamantly against me not following the traditional Korean educational track and tried to discourage me with comments like, You are not “that” talented and there are so many people whose work is superior to yours. He also said that art is for people who are born with it. Even though I tried really hard, I would not be able to achieve the level of excellence of those who are born artists. What my dad said hurt me deeply, I kept his statements buried in my heart as I tried to follow my dream. My self-esteem was plunging to a stage of irreparability. I had to choose, either give up on my dream or keep cruising. The former was probably my fathers goal. It felt like I was going to be a total failure if I let him continue to control me through negativity. Somehow, I summoned the energy to try and prove him wrong. I began participating in art competitions to validate how much I desperately needed art in my life.
Before high school, I convinced my father of the seriousness of my pursuit to be an artist. I persuaded my parents to give me permission to attend an art academy. At the academy I would prepare for the entrance exam for an art high school. Even though I was the last one to begin the preparation for the art exam, I was also the last one to leave everyday. I enjoyed every minute of the day drawing at the art studio, and I began to prove my father’s worries wrong as I created my portfolio. It no longer mattered to me whether or not someone’s work was better than mine. I soon realized that if I was truly enjoying what I was creating, being superior was not something I needed to worry about. Everyone had their own unique way of expressing oneself, it was more about self actualization. I became so passionate about what I was creating and how it was making me feel. This discovery of new forms of self-expression was the fuel I needed to continue.
After high school, I told my father that he was totally wrong for what he had said. He actually agreed with me, and apologized for discouraging me after he saw many acceptance letters from prominent art schools. Since gaining my father’s acceptance, I feel more inspired because I want to be able to share my passion with him. I have learned that enjoying what I am doing is so much more self worthy than being superior over others.
Inspired by a MP3 player
The MP3 player was the sensation during my elementary school years. It was something that everyone had to have, myself included. I was jealous of all my friends who physically owned one. In third grade, my parents presented me with a MP3 player for Christmas. I was ecstatic over the the fact that I now possessed one of these machines. I brought it with me everywhere, including school, to show it off. One day I put my MP3 player in the pocket of my shorts. My grandmother accidently put them in the washing machine and the MP3 player was completely ruined. I was devastated so my father bought me a brand new one. It was much fancier than my old one and it included a color screen.
I noticed the square image on my screen while a song was being played on my newest MP3 player. The mixture of murky shades, repetition of peculiar images, roughly textured text, and the composition that arranged all of these components made me feel uncomfortable, yet also oddly tranquil. The album cover represented the combination of easy-on-the-ear and experimental sounds of the music style. All of these facets helped convey the complex emotions I felt through the music. This visual image of the album cover became attached to the memories of my childhood and influenced my impression of the songs. From then on, I started to pay more attention to the covers as an integral part of my listening experience.
The design of the album cover became an important aspect in my choices of music. When I started collecting physical albums, I further learned that albums are not just about the cd itself; opening the case, skimming through the booklet, and playing the cd are all parts of a whole experience. An album cover could change my perspective on the album’s music and the artist. Through this realization and other experiences, I decided to pursue the idea of learning more about design that could change one’s point of view on something they had observed previously. I wanted others to experience what I had encountered through my future designs. My childhood memory instilled a desire to be a designer who creates not only graphic design, but also everyday designs that could change one’s perspective.
