Bridge 4: Talking to Strangers

Transcript

Me: What do you feel being a woman?

Janette: What do I feel?

Me: Yeah, Like how does it feel like being a woman

Janette: It feels nice… (giggles) Um it feels like… (long pause) it feels like I wouldn’t um, like I’m glad that I’m a woman. I feel like that I wouldn’t, I don’t feel like I’m not supposed to be a woman or a man. Like I was supposed to be a woman basically.

Me: Okay next question, How did you feel when you moved to New York?

Janette: I felt really overwhelmed. I felt like um, I felt like I had to do this because I wanted to do this for like years ago and so I felt like I had to accomplish this and I had to do it.

Me: Do you think that’s a part of your duty as a woman is to accomplish what you set out to do? Or do you think that’s just you?

Janette: I don’t think it has to do with gender, I think accomplishing things has nothing to do with men or women.

Me: How does the view of the Empire State Building affect your daily life? You can be honest.

Janette: Well um sometimes there’s days where I don’t really think about it but there is days where I stare out and look at it and its like its like a little motivation, like a little dream, its like I’m so lucky and I think about the people that don’t get this view and don’t see what I see and don’t have this view that gives them the motivation it gives me and I appreciate it more and I’m grateful more and it give some more motivation to do stuff throughout the day and it reminds me why I’m here doing what I’m doing.

Me: Okay, I’m going to take a rough turn. Have you ever thought about suicide before?

Janette: No.

Me: Okay, how do you feel the media portrays female suicides?

Janette: (long pause) I think they portray it as kind of like… more I think they do it more empathetic towards females than males… um and I feel like its more now as like, well I don’t know if its suicide but I know depression is, but they view it more as an aesthetic for depression but I don’t know about women

Me: Okay, do you feel like you fulfill the role society gives you as a female?

Janette: What roles?

Me: Just society’s idea of being a woman. Do you feel like you fulfill the role expected of you?

Janette: Yeah, like somewhat not everything But I feel like it does.

Me: Okay, what words come to mind when you hear the word “suicide”?

Janette: Guns. Always. And then always reminds me of men it never reminds me of women.

Me: What do you mean, like men are the ones committing suicide?

Janette: Like I, like men actually go through suicide more than women.

Me: Okay

Janette: Um… because both can be depressed but women don’t actually commit suicide more than men. I don’t know I always think of men whenever I think of suicide. I always think of men and guns, I don’t know why.

Me: So you think you associate men’s suicide with guns and if you had to associate women’s suicide with something what would it be?

Janette: Probably um.. probably like um… maybe like I don’t know cutting? Or something um… overdosing? Something that’s not so violent.

Me: What words come to mind when you think of new York City?

Janette: Buildings! I always think of buildings.

Me: Okay, what emotional impacts do you think living in the city has on you?

Janette: repeatsemotional impacts. Um… I feel like loneliness, um and… loneliness and (long pause) I have so many emotions toward New York (laughs) um…what can be another emotion?

Me: We can get back to it. How do you feel after being asked about suicide?

Janette: (long pause) um…I think (long pause) I think of the separation between how, the separation between men and women, I don’t really, its not like, it’s not the thing of suicide, how men commit suicide and how women commit suicide based on like um, I don’t know I guess social roles? And how they’re like brought up also. I think of an article that I read and it said that men, men suppress a lot of their emotions. Like they cover a lot of their emotions and aggression and they do become depressed and so do women but since they don’t really express themselves more, they’re more likely to commit suicide than women, because of that.

Me: Okay, thank you.

 

Summary of interview process

This interview process was very insightful for my research paper considering the responses I attained from the woman I interviewed. In light of the process of interviewing itself, I felt like it was almost as if we were acting and were playing a certain role expected of us in this process. I felt myself act very seriously and to the point that I assumed an interviewer should be. I felt like my interviewee was nervous and stuttered a lot being on the spotlight and knowing that her responses would be recorded. She wasn’t aware of what my paper was about but she matched a lot of the expectations I had in regards to the answer for the questions I came up with. She did surprise me with some of her answers but ultimately that will be helpful in keeping in mind when writing my paper. This process was also very interesting in being able to step out of myself and play a role in conducting research. I’m curious if the seriousness I associated with this process has to do with the topic I have chosen to interview about or if the process itself kind of places me in a power role as an interviewer.

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