Flaura,
I really enjoyed reading your paper. It was lovely to get to know you a bit more after reading such a personal piece of writing.
With that being said, I specifically enjoyed your word usage, your attention to detail, and your consistency.
Your word usage had a very strong impact on your essay overall. You were very concise yet the words you chose to demonstrate that were vivid and helped me paint a picture of your memory and the location you chose. This goes hand-in-hand with your attention to detail. Your description of your memory and the location were very rich. Your words were strong enough to mentally bring me to your location of choice. And lastly, I noticed how consistent you were with your writing in general. I loved how your word choices shared the same themes at the start, and how they shifted together with the shift in your memory. This consistency of contrast really helped with your paper’s impact.
Personally, I did not find a lot of errors in your paper. The things I would mainly work on is being more clear with using metaphors. There was a metaphor you used that I did not fully understand (It might have been just me), but nonetheless, perhaps revising your metaphors and other literary devices could make your paper even stronger. Also, I would love to see you add more of your own perspective to it, not only physically describing the place, but describing its impact to you emotionally, especially after what had happened. I think making it a bit more personal would really improve your paper. Besides this, there were only some punctuation errors that will be easy to fix.
Overall, great paper!
