I struggled with the way to organize my essay in a way that it makes sense to readers and myself. I asked the librarian about it and as we went through how they support my thesis I realized that ordering the examples from based on their meaning and how radical they become from the original meaning makes the most sense.
Suggestion: Possibly go year by year in expanding manner: looking at the essay as the iterations develop through time. It might make more sense to put things in chronological order.
– Background Information
At times I gave a lot of background information but other times I left out facts that seem to now be more important. I need to look back through my sources to find the information that supports my claims stronger than what I have so far.
Suggestion: Breaking monotony of the paper by dispersing background information throughout it. By doing this, the reader won’t become bored before they even get my read my claims and examples because they read and learn the information as I explain my reasoning. Readers aren’t going to read just facts in the introduction, also after the intro to give a brief history of what I am writing about.
I have not yet found specific quotations yet, and I am not sure how many I should have, and I do not know whether or not I should include images of the pieces I describe. I need to narrow down what quotations.
Suggestion: Balance between the two, quotations should not overweigh the opinions I write, but referencing other people to help get my point across is good. I can voice my thoughts better with the support of well accredited sources but I should not use their voice more than my own.
I do not have proper footnotes or a bibliography yet, but I need to double check on how to cite footnotes because I feel like the ones I have done so far are not correct.
Suggestion: Book an appointment for just citing and asking about quotations, because it is important to have accurate information and facts from other sources that are given proper credit. Check punctuation and ways to cite different types of sources.