Seminar / I Remember

 

By getting inspired from book of John Didion which is called, “I Remember” we wrote our own memoir.

 

 

I Remember

 

I remember the first time I fell in love with orange. I was six and wearing prep fit orange shorts.

 

I remember my first time in my brother’s car. I was with our mom and terrified.

 

I remember our old house. It was warm and small.

 

I remember that I used to hide my dad’s cigarettes in order to make him stop smoking. After all, I started smoking.

 

I remember my first pack of Marlboro Gold’s.

 

I remember my first pet. It was small and green, and he knew how to swim.

 

I remember I wanted to be a basketball player.

 

I remember sleepless nights.

 

I remember my first time flying alone. I was going to Canada for 20 days.

 

I remember arguing with dad, telling him to “stop, we both have the same genes.”

 

I remember ordering french fries with my brother.

 

I remember the first time I cried for a girl.

 

I remember long naps after school.

 

I remember walking down the street and seeing the barber shop that I went to since I was 7 and making a headshake with my barber “Mesut”.

 

I remember going out to drink with friends at night.

 

I remember my dad asking me “Why are you so late?”

 

I remember my mom getting mad at me when I put my phone on silent.

 

I remember sweaty soccer trainings.

 

I remember waking up at 5am to study more before my exams during finals.

 

I remember bacon and cheese pressed between two pieces of Italian bread.

 

I remember jam sessions with my roommate.

 

I remember my orange bracelet, a gift from my ex-girlfriend.

 

I remember my first love. I was young and innocent.

 

I remember once when I was at Starbucks, the barista asked me whether I wanted chocolate or caramel on my drink. I just replied, “Yes” (nice to be an ESL student)

 

I remember the smell of the laundry room.

 

I remember walking down to East River Park at 6am, under the morning sun.

 

I remember the shiny red icing over my cupcake.

 

I remember kisses.

 

I remember hugs.

 

I remember losing.

 

I remember winning.

 

I remember throwing up after field and track trainings.

 

I remember that blonde freshman girl with bright green eyes. She was young and beautiful.

 

I remember my first kiss. My eyes were shut and my lips were sealed.

 

I remember going to the same yellowish painted café every single time with my mom when we went out for shopping. She was in love with that place.

 

I remember short and fast summer days.

 

I remember falling in love with strangers.

 

I remember walking all the way down on 6th avenue expecting to reach the Hudson River.

 

I remember my dad turning down the radio when we were passing by a graveyard. All he wanted to teach me was ‘Respect’.

 

 

I remember the things that I want to remember.

 

I would like to remember my kindergarten friends.

 

I would like to remember how much my brother loved me when I was a kid.

 

I would like to remember how I felt when I held my mom’s hand for the very first time.

 

I would like to see what my parents used to look like when they were my age.

 

I would like to know how my parents felt when I just popped into their wonderful worlds.

 

I would like to hear their voices again for the first time.

 

 

Even If good memories exist,

 

I remember,

 

The unattainable urge to always want what we can’t have.

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