A sense of belonging and warmth gradually emerges inside of me. Maybe one day I will talk to my mother and rebuild the tight connection, because no matter how far I go, how old I grow, the two characters “Ai, Jia,” love and family, are still in my name and in my heart.
The relationship between my family and I is very different from other’s. I have been living by myself since high school, but the support from my family gives me faith when I was in despair. Especially when during urgent situations, my dad, though we don’t talk very much, he is the pillar behind my back when I fall apart.
When I moved to Pennsylvania two years ago, I could not get used to the lifestyle there because it was not a convenient place. There were a lot of farms, and the roads are wide and open. It took at least 20 minute’s drive to get to the nearest supermarket and the food there did not fit my taste. The worst thing was that I did not have a car.
I remember clearly that once we were planning to go on field trip, we had to get ourselves some tents and sleeping bags, which was not regularly seem in a supermarket, and I was pretty worried about that. I told my considerations to my mom: the tent and sleeping bag is 40 dollars in total, but if I want to make sure the stuffs could arrive before our field trip, I have to pay 38 dollars for shipment, which is not worthy at all. What really surprised me was that I received a tent and a sleeping bag the next day. It was so unbelievable and I asked my mom if she paid for that and her reaction shows that she also had no idea with what happening. Later I realized that my dad was listening to my FaceTime call although he did not show up, but he booked all the stuffs for me without any words.
During the field trip, we did a lot of heavy farm duties in the day. At night we lit up a big bonfire, we danced and sang in a circle. I lied down in a tent with my best friend who came from Vietnam, we counted the stars through a little window and hummed. I shared my experience her and she said she had the exact same feeling as I did. Although she was one year younger than me, she was as sensible and mature. She gave me a sense of home since she was like my younger sister.
Even though I am not living with my family, I can always feel the support from them and there is someone who reminds me of my family.
