Memories and Wishes


I was making a joke about heaven and hell when my friend told the teacher and I was in trouble for saying H-E-Double hockey sticks.


I watched as my assistant teacher lost her contact, found it on the carpet, and placed it back in her eye when she told us all to look away.


I remember FaceTiming Brenda in fourth grade when she was all the way in Columbia, showing her my stuffed animal Stephen.


I hyped up getting braces in 4th grade because I was the only one who had them, pretending they hurt far more than they did


I cried in the music section of barnes and noble when my dad told me I couldn’t get the JB My World CD, until he caved and let me buy it.


I continued to play that cd to the entire class all year during break, we all jammed.


I impersonated Oprah Winfrey with a brown lob in 5th grade, and told my whole class and I quote “I was molested by my uncle when I was little”.


I wanted my email to be because everyone called my Nicky Hicky in fifth grade but my parents told me what it meant and said no.


The next day I told my entire grade at lunch what the word hickey meant and we were all shocked.


I wanted so badly to get one blue extension like everyone else was getting but I was never aloud, moving towards dying my entire head blue, but that was still a no.


I went on my first date with a boy, accompanied by my best friends who set us up of

     course, and thinking this could be the best day of my life, later he came out and ditched



I remember coming out over instagram and tagging my picture #nationalcomingoutday and

     leaving my number and kik in the message, looking back that was one of the gayest things

     I’ve ever done.


My best friend and me getting into a relationship, even though I loved our friendship and

     knew it couldn’t end well.


Getting cheated on by someone I’d drive hours to see and dedicate all my care and love to.


The first time I watched the man I love step out of his apartment and into my car on our

      horribly planned first date.


I wish I wasn’t always so tired so I could conquer my days sooner


I wish I wasn’t always so doubtful so I could push myself to explore different aspects of the world


I wish I wasn’t always so deceitful so I wouldn’t feel so guilty throughout my life


I wish I could take people’s problems away so I wouldn’t be forced to see the worst happen to the best people


I wish I could deal with my own problems so I could move towards my achievements


I wish I was taller so I could be noticed more in a crowd


I wish I was happy so I would have to spend every moment wondering if what I am is good enough


I wish the positives would outweigh the negatives so I could think brighter in tough situations.


I wish I had the patience to take my time instead of feeling every moment waste by.


I wish I felt the love I was told I have, so I could have a confidence in myself I haven’t been able to experience.


I wish I got out more to experience the vast world around me to actually experience life.


I wish I pushed myself harder to accomplish the tasks I have difficulty completing.


I wish to be more productive instead of putting everything off until it’s too late.


I wish to create more time for myself, to help my mental state and ability to succeed.


I wish to have a long, successful life surrounded by those who love and care for me unconditionally.

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