sahar_intsem1_final_researchpaper_17dec2015

As I begin to imbibe the words on the   pages it is evident to us readers that Carr’s goal is to analyze the course of technological development to predict the effects it will have in the future and more importantly the outcome that it will have on the minds of the human race. He describes how our natural neurological ability has been altered. Our natural instinct  towards the way we think has   changed. While the hyperlinks propel us   to the vast transitional phases that make up the ‘net,’ we study our means of external research and its extensive effects.

 

While it is considered to alter our cognitive ability, its effects go beyond that. Our neurological capacity   has the ability to   propel itself into several physical changes as well. As the universal medium of the ‘net,’ expands   its limitless boundaries, the fear of it restricting and clogging the lobes of our memory and thoughts forms the basis of Carr’s research.

While we   study   the   practice   of reading, we begin to   understand how reading on the   internet not only drives us away from the traditional undertaking of this art, but changes the way   we think as well. The magnitude of this force goes beyond our understanding and highlights the startling significance it has in our own lives.

 

While we take it upon ourselves to avoid reading in the traditional sense, our entire neurological structure begins to function differently transforming us as individuals. If the phrase, ‘we are how we read,’ does in fact hold true we begin to realize   that when we read online we become mere ‘decoders of information.’ This thus presents us with the alarming thought of stalling only at the surface of what all of knowledge has to offer, restricting us from the broad domain that intellect presents.

If we begin to study our mental meshwork, the dense connections formed among the nerve cells constantly break old connections and form new ones. Thus the course of its development never does end. It is constantly on a path of transition and the external influence of   the ‘net,’ impel this neurological occurrence.

 

The internet has morphed its way towards becoming our everything. The effect of the internet doesn’t ‘begin and end at the edges of a computer screen.’ In Carr’s own words, ‘Never has a communications system played so many roles in our lives- or exerted such   broad influence over our thoughts- as the Internet does today.’

As we grow closer towards analyzing how   it is in fact reprogramming us,   it is my belief that the human race treads   on a continuous path of development. This process   of evolution transformed us from our ancestral apes and will continue to define who we are in the future. It is important for us to understand that our neurological changes can not be limited to the realm of technology as its cause goes beyond our control following the studies of Charles Darwin. The process of natural selection can not be restricted to our physical state alone.

 

The internet   brings the knowledge of the world closer to us, closing in the dimensions of the universe and the diverse sphere of possibility. It allows us  to access the vast realm of the universe with a touch of a button.

Carr describes how, ‘The more pieces of information we can “access” and the faster we can extract their gist, the more productive we become as thinkers.’ As we scan through online resources we begin to erode the essence of what it represents. While the tedious method of gaining knowledge is time consuming   it has the ability to allow us to learning until we come across what we’re looking for. This expands the extent to which we gather knowledge rather than the internet that restricts us to what we need to know in that particular moment in time.

 

Google has evolved to become more than just a search engine as it begins to define our intelligence, creating limitations to the knowledge we receive. It is an artificial intelligence that dominates us in more ways than we can imagine. Intelligence alone now appears to be an output of a mechanical process. As we transition from page to page; and from link to link, Google and other such search engines collect information about us and   feed us advertisements. We thus witness how the internet is steeped in commercial capitalism.

 

The cyber world is a realm unto its self. Its a dimension that can not be seen or touched but only easily accessed. Life would be unimaginable without it.. As we have transitioned from Neanderthals to Homo Sapiens Sapiens we have encountered several transformative elements from the discovery of fire to writing and finally to the development of computers. Each element has lead to our progress and thus the evolution of the human race. I believe that rather than questioning each aspect of our advancement we must consider its benefits. Each transformative experiences has lead into the other creating the world we live in today. It is my hope that the vast possibility of the Internet will help transition us towards our future. We will always continue  to evolve as it is the one inevitable truth to life. The internet is an intrinsic aspect of the century. The poignant conclusion is that the ‘artificial intellect,’ stems from us alone. We dominate it! Google is a search engine but while we refer to it we also point our fingers to the people controlling it at its headquarters in Mountain View, California.

It isn’t a question of computers taking over us as it is our   invention. As for the Internet, it too is a manipulation of the human mind. In the end we alone are the masters of our own fate.

As Carr concludes, ‘That’s the essence of Kubrick’s dark prophecy: as we come to rely on computers to mediate our understanding of the world, it is our own intelligence that flattens into artificial intelligence.’

 

The Edges of Personality

 

 

 

 

Is there any coherence to the human mind?

As we study the biological structure of the   brain we can grow to understand the proximity of the cerebellum to the cerebrum and the relation of the cranial nerves to the corpus callosum.

When we delve into the study of   psychoanalysis   we come into one of the most complex studies the human mind could we could enter. We attempt to unravel the multiple layers of psychology. This dynamic   study of the mind can not be seen. Its implications, however, in terms of   the law are structured within the barrios of black and white. Psychoanalysis is a study that transcends the limits of human understanding. As I begin to explore the twisted nature of criminology and how it is inextricably linked with personality, it is yet   to be seen whether a conclusion on the subject is possible or not.

Is it possible for something as complex as the criminal mind to be controlled within the parameters of law?

Crime could be defined as an act that deserves punishment in the eyes of society. Countering this is law, a convention adopted for the uphold what we consider to be a well regulated society. The two go hand in hand and form an inextricable link to one another.

Due to the complexity of psychology, the only way we are allowed access into the criminal mind is though layers and layers of interrogatory techniques that propel the thoughts of the victim outward towards our understanding.

The construct of criminology lies between two theories. While it could be influenced by external conditions such as alcoholism and poverty, it could also be inextricably linked to an individual by virtue of genetics. The defect is only known to the individual and it is a mission to allow for its reveal.

While there is no definite criminal type, if this doth be a disease we carve the path of diagnosis. In the words of Smith M. Hemblin, it is but   ‘the light from the stormy road which we have to travel.’ He continues to make the profound statement, ‘The very last thing which a man desires to understand is himself.’

We thus commence our journey towards its disentanglement.

 

Our attempt at unlocking the secrets of the human mind involves exposing the realm of the unconscious mind.

Hypnotism allows for the subject’s consciousness to be completely obliterated with their memory of forgotten events improving greatly. There are, however, obvious objections to its use as it doesn’t fall under the umbrella of psychoanalysis making it   as convoluted as the subject concerned.

 

Word Association is a powerful technique that aims at interacting with the subject through a quick exchange of words, constantly probing the unconscious towards formulating a greater understanding. In this case, the responses of the subject are noted along with paying attention to the time taken for the response. Peculiar reactions are noted carefully and further propel our understanding of   psychology. It is not, however, as simple as it seems. If we begin to formulate our own theories towards what the subject’s complexes are, we are certain to be led astray.

 

Free Association is another technique of psychoanalysis that suspends the subjects thoughts to only then narrate any memory or thought that comes in relation to his/her symptoms.

 

The Interpretation of Dreams, often referred to as the ‘royal road to the unconscious,’ can be viewed under a scientific approach. Freud describes how each dream is the fulfillment of both conscious as well as unconscious wishes. It is where the unconscious desires produce mental disturbances. The displacement, condensation and symbolization hold a magnitude of meaning all reasoning the greater subject of distortion.

 

 

Consulting all the above theories, it is up to the psychoanalyst   to break down the resistances which keep the repressed complexes in the unconscious. It is only when the resistances are broken down that the complexities reveal their own identities. The rise of the complexes to the consciousness, detaching the nucleus from its surrounding emotions into fresh channels.

 

After analyzing all the interrogatory techniques, we understand that they are themselves experimental. There is a lot of conjecture that is used to develop these theories to eventually formulate answers. These loose ends fail to carve their path towards a definite direction. Most importantly, I believe that it is the instinct of the   psychoanalyst that can guide the study in order to formulate answers. The course of the study progresses along   multiple shades of   grey coloring in the lines of understanding. It is therefore evident that   there is never any one way of going about this. Not one of the interrogatory techniques listed above has the ability to assure secure and accurate conclusions.

 

An example of  interrogatory techniques going wrong revolves around the classic case of murderer Kenneth Bianchi, a criminal who faked his mental disorder. While under hypnosis, Bianchi convinced several respected experts that it wasn’t he who committed the murder of a dozen women, but his alter ego “Steve.” Had his diagnosis of multiple personality disorder been enforced, Bianchi would have been allowed to plead not guilty by virtue of insanity. According to statistics ‘out of those assessed for a psychiatric disorder, about   7% are believed to be faking.’

 

This instinctive process   and development of the human mind is, however, contradicted by the stark nature of law that divides its course into the definite colors of black and white, allowing for a structured and almost   restrictive body.

As   I read ‘Criminal Law,’ by Jonathan Herring I began to study the contrast of the parallel diversion of law and order. It defines crime only to establish a punishment.             Is  it  possible  for  something  as  complex  as  the  criminal  mind  to  be  controlled  within  the  parameters of  law? Insanity  has  never  been  defined  legally.

 

 

One of the most fascinating and horrifying criminal activity in existence revolves around the case of Ian Brady the ‘Moors Murderer.’ Raised by foster parents in Glasgow’s toughest slums, Brady’s unstable personality was the cause of an unstable upbringing. He had a strange fascination with the Nazis and the writings of Nietsche. His devious deeds of having killed five children caused a magnitude of uprising and resonates his villainy. Instead of remaining behind bars, Brady’s sentence was shifted to the high security psychiatric institution of Ashworth due to a diagnosis based on mental illness. It was only in the year 2013 that Brady has claimed that to have been a proficient display of method acting.

 

This is an astounding and convoluted display of human behavior. To think that an individual would try to overcome punishment by hiding behind the twisted shackles of   criminology and insanity. This gives rise to many questions particularly concerning its association with the law. Is it possible to fake having a mental defect? Is it right for the law to adapt itself towards insanity when any of act of that magnitude can only be committed by someone insane regardless of mental illness coming   into the picture?

Can the law, rigid as it is, ever define this complexity of the human mind?

 

Here lies a very fine line. My conclusion resides in the fact that it is up to you, the reader, to draw up your own resolution on the matter. The vagueness clouds our vision and displays a great deal of grey matter. If I were to conjure up a result of my study it would be to define a middle ground between the distorted shards of psychology and the concrete hardness of the law. I will therefore allow the thought to linger in   the midst of your memory as this contradiction serves to be one of the most prevalent in our time.

Any act of criminality is insanity in itself. It does not need to be defined by an illness and be adapted under the structure of   law.

The argument on the subject continues.

My deepest desire it to create. In doing so I procreate a manifestation of my mind. What I have learnt over the course of my first semester is how my individual transition has contributed towards my growth. It is my own personal journey and pain that has altered the fluids of my memory allowing me to think differently

It is less paint, more passion. It is less thought, more instinct.

I am happiest when I begin to comprehend ideas and comprehend visually the structure of my mind. My work and my art brings to light the inner workings of my psychology. While it is twisted and convoluted my craft represents the latter. It is as though when I create, I understand more clearly the dynamics of my own mind. Thoughts and philosophies finally reach their conclusion. It is a feeling of elation that I can not describe. It is my own personal brand of heroine. My highest high and my most profound moment of existence. It is during that brief moment in time that I believe my purpose is understood. The process of manifestation has a moment of elation that is indescribable. It is as though the artistic process has a journey. It begins with me confronting the assignment at hand only to analyse different interpretations of the same idea. It is followed by frustrating moments of self doubt. Finally we encounter that rapturous moment. It is as though the light from the heavens gravitates me towards a realm of possibility. Everything else around me is dark. The light only shines upon me. Only I exist.

He is the product of 26 years on the move; a mess of one way tickets, woven fingers and new conversations. Back turned, one feels his aura like warmth from a wood stove. Brimming with experience but by no means an expert in any field (or so he claims), he sits in front of us on a peeling dining chair in Union Square Park. He calls himself “Osayo.”

The wooden sign resting in his lap reads simply “Make me an offer.”

We debate the meaning of this like giggly schoolgirls, charmed by the confident twitch in his jaw and the magic of discovering him with such spontaneity when searching for a subject.

Once a lupine shadow in the corner of our eyes, we skidded to a stop as we noticed him settle against one wall, taking in his scattered possessions, his folded legs, before noticing his eyes: a murky green belonging to a precious gem more than any gene pool, and steadily trained on our own. We confer for five minutes as he stares us down. The longer we stare, the more his smile emerges – cloying, feline, dripping with confidence. He’s got us ensnared, and he knows it.

There is gentle elbowing, a few well-placed coughs and several awkward pauses, so it is some time before our inquiry reaches him in one piece. “I’ll answer anything you want,” he agrees. We collectively exhale. “But what do you have to offer?”

“What do you want?” We stumble over our words, delivering them with more desperation than either of us intend to reveal.

“Find me the crispest apple in the Farmer’s Market,” he declares, shifting in his seat.

So we scatter, we search, we deliver. Ten minutes of anxious deliberation provides us with one honeycrisp apple and three sweet peppers to offer. Here begins the next two hours with the most interesting man on earth.

These are   the   ideals that   demonstrate what lies beneath Osayo’s surface. An hour into conversation and we’re left mesmerized by his enigmatic presence. He   lives life to   his own conventions and describes how much he   learns from the different cultures that   his parents come from (Cuban father and a mother who is Russian/Jewish.) While his memories of his Russian   grandmother prove to be   his most poignant recollection; his fascination with his Cuban heritage compelled   him to voyage to Havana. The trip opened up his eyes to the politics and on some metaphorical plane brought him closer to   his dad and their relationship.

A fiction writer who draws from autobiography, Osayo describes how he goes over the chronicle of his life. He claims that he is desperately trying to   avoid   creating a narrative of his life as not every moment is in service to his fiction.

His most defining moment thus far was   his rejection from medical school. To him, his ‘rejection,’ was liberation; a blessing in disguise. On the night of his denial, he smoked his first cigarette. He describes how   his journey of intoxication allowed him to experience the nuanced details of every single moment- how much there is to feel, and how feeling encompasses a magnitude of significance. His philosophical approach to life inspired us as artists and enabled us to question our very own creative journey. He claims to always question his artistic purpose and declares his need to create as much as his soul can offer.

Having not conformed to the ordinary path he questions the pressure that society puts on the ‘conventional course,’ of college and from there a related career.

He questions its relevance to us as individuals.

When it comes to matters of the heart, Osayo loves the magical journey of love. Having been in love three times, he describes its palpitating significance. He initiates clarity by stating that we adapt our minds to fulfill and complete another soul.

While his relationship with his parents continues to grow as the days go by, he could never have imagined how he could grow to reflect who they are.

His sister is his best friend a relationship he treasures greatly.

Confidence is what he embodies and his charming nature is   what   attracts the people around him. He loves himself and sometimes even a little too much.

When asked whether his free spirit could ever allow him to conform to settle down and have a family, he describes how the journey of one’s self never does end. He relates how the values of   a family are something he has grown to appreciate.

Born and raised in Connecticut, then schooled in Massachusetts, his wanderlust then led him to LA. Eventually, though, he was lured by the dream of NYC. It’s amazing how as different as we may be as individuals, the culmination of possibility in this city is what drives our dreams. As carefree as   Osayo may seem, he is driven by these dreams that he wishes could grow to fruition.

Is it this one human desire that unites us on a metaphorical plane? Do   our dreams unite the spirit of our soul? It makes us question our place; in relation to others, our environments, and the path we wish to forge for ourselves.

 

A student of acting he has vacillated from a college degree, an attempt at getting into med school to finally his dream in the city. He has never followed a structured path. While he began to follow the norm, he now carves his own course. Is there a gravitational pull towards a force of a greater magnitude that will one day drive him to his desires..

While he battles with Craigslist in search of his next place of residence, his true home is the streets of New York City. He finds his loneliest moments are experienced in midtown. The chaos of his surroundings confirm his detachment with the individuals around him.   It is then that his lonely path is highlighted before him in the midst of the commercial cacophony we call Herald Square. He spends his nights crashing on his friend’s couch and as fearless as he seems the   rugged shards of his journey creep up. Behind the confident facade what are the innermost vulnerabilities that make up Osayo.

It may just be conjecture but there are darker undercurrents that we can sense.

How much   do we really know about the people around us? We can ask questions and come up with ideas and possibilities but how much will we ever know? How close can we come to a personality? Even the people we are closest   to, is there an inner dimension that we will never be exposed to?

He claims to use art as a medium through which he shows   people what he’s like. Sharing his personality is what motivates his need to create.

He openly admits to the fact that he is drawn towards beauty and intensity.

As we delve into both integrative studio and seminar courses, we being to reflect upon ourselves as individuals and explore our inner dimension. We learn about ourselves and our ‘transformative moments.’ When we asked Osayo   about his definition of a transformative moment he describes how each breath can be transformative if we choose it to be. When he practices yoga, it allows him to explore the different parts of his body and gain awareness of the different sockets of energy that his being contains.

Running into him at Union Square park   was the biggest coincidence that we had encountered in our time here in NYC. It was the first time he had ever decided to interact with the strangers that he is surrounded by. As his husky voice broke out into a goodbye we knew that it was an encounter that we would forever linger in our memories.

As   for his future, he describes it to   be a journey of self discovery. It has been a year since   he moved to NYC and while his past experiences define who he is today, he uses that knowledge of himself to help carve the   path ahead.

 

 

As I wander through a space full of creativity an unexplainable energy runs through me. While the artists demonstrate provoking thought they also expose their souls. Never has a space fallen so heavy with meaning and emotion. I marvel at the extent to which the paintings invite our fascination, the art begins to encapsulate all our senses allowing us and our own emotions of life and time to interact with the mind of the artist.

 

While surrounded by invigorating thought, at the back of   my mind my one big desire was to be in the formidable presence of Monet’s work. After studying and   reading about the great mastermind, I was sure that none of the pictures I had seen could even depict a fraction of   his potent legacy. I was determined to get as close as I could to the power   that his canvas radiated.

While I ride the escalator to the 5^th floor of the museum the big large windows allow the gleaming rays of light to enter. I glace around at the surroundings, taking it all  in as I move up closer towards my intended destination.

Once I did enter paining and sculpture 1. I enter the first gallery and decide to make my way to gallery 9 where I would at last find the work of Claude Monet.

As I entered, my eyes went straight to a group of   people looking at Van Gogh’s, ‘Starry Night. While the intoxicating darkness drew me in I couldn’t help but be afraid of understanding Van Goghs psychology. Even the thought frightened me.

As I walked around the galleries the work around was so different, each piece displaying a distinct emotion. From the resonating image of ‘Starry Night,’ I begin to view a body distorted with no head; and paintings with illusions of figures, each lacking cohesion from the other. As I enter gallery 5, the dominating presence of Jackson Pollock seared my soul and the lack of definition engulfed me into its chaotic scene.

 

While I at last found my way to gallery 9, the vast scale of Monet’s work transported me into its world. His genius allows his paint   to gleam through like it was only yesterday that he watched the water   lilies outside of   his home all in France.

The power is best left in described and better seen, than ever explained.

 

My exposure to the museum allowed me to interact with   the artists that I have read so much   about and studied intensely. It stimulates my purpose as an artist inspiring my reason   to create. A glimpse into their minds, allows for a magnitude of purpose.

 

The experience allowed me to view art as a interminable sphere. The paintings demonstrate the vast possibilities that art presents. Each piece has its   own dimension. It makes me question the boundaries that define us as artists. Do they even exist?

Art represents a dimension unto its own where the stark colors of black and white blur its boundaries   to create infinite shades of grey. It is, in my opinion   the only realm of human nature where the conflict of right and wrong fade into the background putting its focus on the acute intensity emotion- exposing the vulnerabilities of the human mind.

THE VOYAGE OF NUMBERS

It was a four letter word M.A.T.H.

How could a tiny word like that contain unto itself   a realm of meaning so complex and twisted that we spend more time chasing after the answer than anything else. Figuring out the answer is often like finding your way out of a complex maze. While every entrance would seem like a possible solution it is certain that only one of them will lead the way out.

Keeping all of the above in mind while making a crucial decision to take the plunge, I decided to adopt M.A.T.H. as my core subject for the last two years in my high school in India. The level of intensity that this course presents is unimaginable with the permutations and combinations virtually coming to life, and the calculus allowing us to experience each variation in its decimal values.

I felt that it was time for me to emerge from the shadows for the first time and face life head on. It was time for me to expose my vulnerability and challenge all that I represented. The stakes could never have been higher as these grades would present itself on all of my college applications.

In that very moment of decision I had just placed   myself in the midst of the mighty ocean, I said to myself: “Either I sink or I swim, it’s the only way I shall ever  find out.”

On some metaphorical plane I believed that it was important for me to understand my own character. How would I be able to place myself in situations of the world if I didn’t know what I was made of?

This was not only going to be the test of numbers, it would also reveal aspect of my character that I would have otherwise been oblivious to.

While my decision was now etched in stone, I could not help but constantly question my faulty right brain and my lack of logical thinking. The subject itself runs its course along the shades of black and white, creating clear and solid boundaries which can never be questioned. Never did I understand the lack of inventiveness that it presented. The fact that there wasn’t a liberating factor, made me question how I identified with it. It wasn’t exciting. As long as everyone got to the same exact answer at the end of each problem, we   weren’t required to do much else.

It made me question what we were contributing towards it as individuals.

The journey was a long road filled with all the varied emotions that I had expected. Nightmares would keep   me awake at night and the jagged edges of feeling would consume my thoughts while awake. It was a long road of impossible, however, I gradually managed to find my footing in the midst of the   dark clouds that blurred my vision. It was as though the light would gradually sweep in with   each step that I moved forward.

One year down and it was time for me to sit down for THE BIG test i. Although I had worked as hard as I possibly could and submerged myself into the subject with earnest intentions, I had put too much importance down to that one exam, believing that it could and would affect my future. Although my preparation was enough to see me through, my mental strain pulled me back and greatly affected my performance.

When it was time for my second year to begin, its commencement was tinged with disappointment. I was determined to prove my new found understanding of the subject. I now seemed to begin to make sense of all that it represented. I realized that it isn’t always about what we can contribute to a situation , but, also how we can learn to apply certain ideologies and philosophies to our own lives. I loved how it sharpened my thinking and allowed me to view the world as a one dimensional surface.

I didn’t want to be the one standing in the way of myself.

Along with training my ability and my skill, this time I also began to train my mind. While studying might appear to be the key element and undoubtedly essential tool to scoring well on a test, I realized that mental psychology also plays a big part. I had to gain the strength to not allow the pressure or the hurdles get to me.

‘The moment you panic you’ve already lost the battle. The minute you’re calm- at least you have a chance,’ are the words that have evolved to assist me in every avenue of life that I enter. Words that I am now proud to say ‘I learnt with experience .’

As I repeated the formulae in my head, I would also simultaneously control my thoughts.

THE BIG test ii arrived and I knew that as long as I kept my cool I would be okay. It was my last chance. It was time. The day began and I focused on my internal energy and keeping my emotions at bay. I walked into the examination hall with sweaty palms and tight fists, but, a light igniting flame burned deep within me. A profound desire to succeed.

Three hours later I walked out knowing that I had done myself justice and that I would be graded on the magnitude of my effort.

Although I never did managed to top my class or excel in the larger sense of the word (not narrating one of those success stories you see on TV) I realized that my purpose was beyond that. It was an effort that meant more than a number or a grade ever could. It opened up my eyes and allowed me to view myself and the world around me in a very different light.

It taught me how to think on my feet, how to decipher situations and people. It altered my though process allowing me to wrap my head around situations and the different dynamics of life.

Math might have taught me skills of algebra and statistics which would serve well for just a test, however, the ‘hidden,’ skills that I have learnt about challenging myself and dealing with different emotions all at once- is something that no one can take away from.I conquered and overcame something that I never thought possible. I began to find philosophical meaning from something I considered so rigid.

I sailed along the violent seas and climbed the mountains of pointed peaks. My journey does come to a close as I now embark on my destination of self-satisfaction. What I take away with me will last me a lifetime. While I consume myself with thoughts of the past, I also let out a gentle smile awaiting the other transient experiences to come.