Original ideas
The subject of my work is my social anxiety disorder. I want to show that in the process of communicating with people, I forcibly suppressed my inner anxiety, and then put on the disguise of being friendly and talkative.
Three sketches
Inspiration
At first, I planned to show my resistance to social interaction through the actions of others uncovering the surrounding covering layer by layer. But I feel that this is not exactly the same as my current state. I am more of a forced social state. The new environment has caused me to have to communicate with others, because I hope to have a good relationship with my classmates, so I force myself to communicate more with others. Thus，I changed my plan.
Process
In the process, I first used acrylic paint to paint colors on the plastic sheet to express different emotions. Then a black carpet was used to build a shooting space. I turned off the light and used the light of the phone to shoot, creating a more depressing atmosphere.
Four videos
The black and red paint on the plastic sheet represents my state of anxiety and resistance to communication. But this emotion was suppressed by me, and I put it into a transparent box. Then the box that represents my heart was covered by a plastic sheet of green and red paint, and the plastic sheet was squeezed into the box. In the end, the box was perfectly wrapped by the green and white plastic sheet.
Final installation
The four videos will be shown in a closed room. The room has a lot of shades hanging from the ceiling, and in the middle is a square pillar. With the numbers on the ground, the audience can know the order of viewing and enjoy around the pillar.
Four videos were played simultaneously on each of the four faces of the pillar. The height of the screen represents my state when I faced the social anxiety. From the lowest part of the screen, which shows the video represent the stage of fear and anxiety, to the last and highest part, which shows the video of comfort. The shades in the room represent the barriers to understanding my inner thoughts. Others cannot see my true heart until they reach the pillar in the center of the room.
