Prompt: How have you changed over the course of the semester?
I think throughout this semester, I’ve really gotten to see the social hierarchy. It’s so incredibly obvious here. In where I’m from – Bali – no one really cares about branding or who you are or even who your parents are. But in here, it really does matter.
Through this semester, I think I gained more guts to be confrontational – in a good way. And really speak up for myself and my emotions- this courage is something which I lacked in the past. Though I was expressive, was never confrontational. Actually, confrontational is quiet of a heavy word and can be negative at times. But it’s something that requires confidence and self-belief. And I feel like in a tough city like New York, not allowing the city-life to break me but instead, make me is quite a special thing.
After meeting with the people I’ve come across in college this semester, I’ve realized who I am and who my crowds are. And I’m really glad to not fall for categories and groups- I used to think that’s how you make friends, by being a people pleaser. And I used to think that’s how you get people to like you and wants to be sweet and friendly to you. But it really isn’t. And I’m really glad to have stuck to that principle. If this friend doesn’t work, they just don’t. There’s no way around it.
This is a note I’ve written to myself in July, from Bali; to myself, in New York’s August.
Dear Grace in the fall of 2018,
I hope you know that sticking to your own principle Is the most important thing- not to anyone else but to yourself.
Prioritize your feelings.
Don’t compromise with another person’s personality, if you don’t click, you just don’t – there’s no way around it.
Constantly remind yourself what your goal is. Are you somehow achieving it every day? Are you one baby-step closer?
Even as I am typing it right now, I feel like I need to take a moment to self reflect and think about whether I’m on track with my words from April. Self-reflection and emotional growth have always been something I’ve focused on, and I’ve always been doing it through journaling. For Bridge 5, I’ve made both a video and a drawing about myself. Video being about my baby hair, and how that’s something which has been staying the same and constant about me.
So to answer to the prompt- ‘how have you changed over the course of the semester?’ I feel like I’ve grown to realize that there’s no time to waste in settling for less, whether it be the quality of relationship you’re in or the quality of your work. No one would appreciate it if they don’t feel respected with how you treat them. And with that being said, no one would respect YOU if you don’t respect yourself first. So, setting boundaries for self is vital. If you don’t speak up for yourself and your emotions- who will?
