Expectations

Having expectations is hard and I try not to align my life with many. I have small necessary expectations like the ones I have for myself such as how I dress and present myself to the world but when I start to add expectations  to the people I know and love, my relationship starts to lean in a direction that is less than satisfactory. I start to put up boundaries and categorize people which I think is unhealthy and leads me to live a very limiting life. I find when I can catch myself setting expectations I see that I am aware when I do something that makes me see my world in a limiting way I recognize it and recreate that expectations into something new and not as harmful to my perception of life.

 

Identity

 

Identity means something different to everybody and thats all I am aware of. What I see identity as is what I represent. What character I represent, what ideas i represent, what ways of communicating I represent. A lot of what I do as an artist is represent, I take sides or remain neutral about an idea and then represent that through words or through art forms. A big thing about being human for me is figuring out my inner workings. I understand that I have the ability to create and communicate through art but what I choose to communicate all depends on where I identify myself on the issue that I am covering. I am still learning more about myself and the way I Identify me because I believe that the age I am is a very important age to consider more and more about myself and who I am. right now I am 20.

 

Observation

I just came from a six hour painting class where we had to paint, for six hours a nude women.

talk about observation.  Having to paint the body for six hours really makes you look especially when your trying to replicate what your looking at. I started to see things about the body that I haven’t seen before, the angles that the body makes up on a flat surface when done correctly can be a very satisfying and enlightening experience. When done incorrectly the human figure can be the most uncomfortable, annoying experience, getting stuck trying to understand my mistakes and how to correct it can really lead me down a path of anxiety. Ive noticed I have to let go of the care and meaning that I project onto my painting then I am able to really take advantage of my canvas and create something I will be proud of.

 

Archive

the first time I was interested in an archive was at my high school Interlochen Arts Academy senior year. I was in the visual arts major as a painter and one while walking down the hall of one of the corridors that led to my class that day, I saw my teacher walk out from two large doors that were usually locked. I knew they were locked because I treid opening them once. I stopped my teacher Patty and asked her what was in that room and she told me it was all the work from the senior shows all the way back to the 1970s. patty let me peak in real quick before her class and in there where canvases big and small all lined up in shelves and long vertical storage units. I wanted to look around but Patty wouldn’t let me because there has to be a supervisor and she had to get to her class. so after waiting for two weeks and asking multiple times an opportunity arouse. we were working in the gallery on the main level preparing for an exhibition of student juried work and patty needed nails from the archive but she was too busy working on another project. I begged her to let me go retrieve the nails and thankfully she let me get them. she gave me the keys to the room I ran downstairs, opened the door and immediately started to browse. it was so fun to see all of these works of art from past seniors.