Prose Poems
Lauren Ruiz, who is currently eighteen years old, was born and raised in Santa Clarita. It was a small city which was north of Los Angeles in California. One of the poems from the collection called Santa Clarita describes the environment of her hometown. She repeatedly states the environment she lived in; Santa Clarita is hot that it feels like its summer all year round — it never experiences four seasons. Lauren also describes Santa Clarita as a place where she feels safe and secured; however, sometimes she tends to feel like she’s too sheltered. Additionally, her school lacks diversity which caused her to feel out of place occasionally. Santa Clarita being her hometown built all her memories from school, to sisters, and friends.
Growing up Lauren had a closer relationship with her dad rather her mom. Lauren’s dad always wished to one day have a son. However, because ended up having three sisters, she felt like she was obliged to be the ‘son’ of the family. She did countless activities a boy would do with his dad that she sometimes manipulated her thoughts that she was a tomboy. Lauren and her dad would play football and basketball which caused them to have a closer relationship. As she got older, Lauren started to communicate with her mom more. She exposed all her past secrets from drunk driving with friends to sneaking out. These were called her secrets because she never had to courage to tell her mom.
Lauren and her sisters would constantly argue — they never had a genuine bond growing up. Although as soon as Lauren matured, she started to feel like she had an obligation to be the best sister she could be. They looked up to her as she was their role model. It was difficult for Lauren because while trying to find herself she had to mature as she was the eldest. Lauren found her hobbies and passions. She started to love fashion and was always admiring her mothers closet. Lauren starting to appreciate fashion and finding her own aesthetic made her draw closer to her sisters — most especially her youngest sister, Isabella. She says that she had the closest relationship to her. Her fondest memory with her is when she bonded with her over picking what outfit to wear. Lauren’s relationship with her sisters have changed — they’re a lot closer and it was hard for Lauren to leave them behind.
Recently, Lauren moved out of her room which was also her sanctuary in the small city Santa Clarita to New York City to study in Parsons. Moving to New York City is a big leap from her hometown. She states that she will miss home but is also thrilled to diverse with students from different backgrounds around the world, experience different seasons, and become independent. The collection of prose poems introduces Lauren, her fears, her grandmother, and her hometown. Writing on these specific memories Lauren shared interested me. I believe the audience would be captivated by these moments and possibly allow it to reflect on their own personal life.
Am I Content?
I’ve never asked for much in life
And everything was never handed to me in a silver platter
However
There’s this constant stream of joy in knowing that
I think I have everything I need in life
But
There’s also this constant yearning for happiness
There’s a fine line between being content and being happy
Being happy connotes joy
And being content connotes satisfaction
I don’t long for the finer things in life
like I said I have what I need
Am I Content? (Part 2)
I’m running towards the light that
Leads me to this fictive paradise of pure bliss
My idea of this blissful paradise is simple:
Spanish food
Tropical sunsets
The cool breeze of the sea
And of course my family
Most people find happiness in the midst of contentment
I for one seek joy
In my wondrous illusory paradise of vacation-esque serenity
Is this the feeling of being content?
Why do I feel this way then?
Am I truly content with my life?
Fear
How will I die?
Will I die in peace?
I ponder
I ponder what life will be like
The idea of death
The idea of how ones life can just be snatched away from frightens me
I’m scared
Anxious
Petrified
Leaving my sisters?
How could I possibly leave them behind?
Or even
How does it feel like to lose someone?
The feeling of losing someone so close to my heart
Is something I’ve never experienced
Or something I hope to never experience
Something I learned along the way was
When I reconnected with one of my oldest friends
I remember her
She always smelled like flowers
Once she told me how she lost her brother
I’ll never forget what she told me
How she felt
And the aftermath
The idea of losing someone close to me
Has always crossed my mind
Am I truly ready for the future?
How does it feel like?
Grandmother
My grandmother
If I could say everything about her it would probably be a novel
Maybe even a trilogy
My grandmother was an angel
She’s kind
warmhearted
And energetic
She loves to dance to Elvis and John Mayer
She loves to cook
And she loves the beach
I treated her like she was my mom
She was basically my second mom
She always made sure my hair was brushed
My clothes were ironed
And that I was always fed
She was refused to sit down at the dinner table
Until everyone had food on their plate
Santa Clarita
If I could describe home in one word
It would be
Hot
It was always hot
Santa Clarita was always hot
Santa Clarita
A small city but
A place I’ll always run to when I look for
Home
I always felt safe
Whether I was in my
Sanctuary or
School or
Even just driving around town
I miss it terribly
Especially after walking through the busy streets of
New York City
Reflection
From creating the poem to writing the foreword, I’ve learned a lot from this experience. Before writing the poem, I thought this experience would be difficult — I would have to learn and understand someones life, their culture, and everything between. Learning about Lauren, who was my partner, was interesting. I enjoyed learning about her life back home in Santa Clarita, California. She told me everything — from her relationship with her dad, her mom, her sisters, and basically how she grew up in a small city. It was easier for both of us to ask and discuss about our personal lives with the questions given to us. Even though the questions were quite random and not everything was used in our poems, we got to know each other better. Another activity that connected and made us feel comfortable around each other was going to the Rubin Museum. My experience in the Rubin was one of my favorites and I would love to go back. However, I experienced several difficulties along the way when writing. It was difficult for me to put myself in her shoes when writing these prose poems. This is because I wanted it to sound real and genuine that my audience would feel the impact through the prose poems. Additionally, I want my audience to be able to put themselves in Lauren’s shoes while reading these. Overall, I still loved the experience of getting to know someone on a deeper level and being able to write prose poems and a foreword on them.