o How would you describe your relationship to this subject position – where are you?
o How does it impact your daily life – when are you most aware of it? How does it intersect with the other subject positions in your map?
o What influence does this subject position have for your daily dress practices? How does it impact your everyday processes of dressing?
1. AGE: 19 Years old
Me accidentally poured too much chili flakes on to Joe’s Pizza. I was in my bright yellow raincoat- Me trying to look younger with manipulating the color of my outfit.
I’m not old enough to drink wine. I’m not young enough to call myself as a teenager either. 19 years old is a weird age. I remember when I was young I used to think being 18 years old would be the coolest thing in the world. However, the reality is crueler than I thought it would be. I’m still in college, worrying about my future career, my major, and my life expanses, in other words, I’m worrying about the “subject formation”- who am I “Being and becoming”, like Susan Kaiser mentioned in the book Fashion and Culture Studies. Because of all these anxieties, I often have mood swings, the sadder I get, the careless I dress. When people ask me how old are you, I hesitate, which is a bit awkward as 19 years old doesn’t sound like an old age at all.
I won’t be surprised if anyone is shocked by my answer “19 years old”. Because I am so used to responses like “What? I thought you were a graduate student when you said you are a student”, “You look like more mature than you are” from people. The way I Dress, more practical, functionality based, is one of the reason why I look older than 19 years old. Now, I will try to dress more colorful outfit on purpose for experimenting purpose.
2. Location: Chelsea
The view from my window in Chelsea. The SVA theatre is across the street
I used to live on St. Marks in East village, the famous street in New York with all kinds of restaurant and hippie vintage shops. The convenience of living in that area was impeccable. However, it was too noisy for me. The drumbeat from STOMP, an off-Broadway show, every night, distracted me from focusing on my work. The rent was overpriced, while the room was a tiny shoe box. So, I moved to Chelsea, a rather quieter and cleaner area with more spacious room.
The commute time is longer than living on St. Marks which is the only bad thing about living in Chelsea. I don’t have as much time as I lived on St. Marks on dressing. My wardrobe is bigger with more options of different style because I can see them hanging on the hanger instead of hiding under the clothes one and the other. Nevertheless, I still have a drawer with all school outfits. I try to be more practical when I am in school, and be more fashionable on weekends. Because to me balance is pretty important, which I got from Buddhism. To me, how I dress and the amount of work I have to do in one day is a fixed formula.
Dress basic + tons of work = Dress interestingly(with more color and layers) + less work
3. Nationality and Ethnicity: Chinese
The scene of Jing’an Temple in Shanghai, China.
I’m Chinese. I went to the boarding school since I was in kindergarten. During the weekends, I went to my aunt’s home. I spend my time from school to my aunt’s home back and forth for 10 years. Travelling from places to places by myself all the time, I didn’t feel too distinct from others until when I got people’s responses when I told them about my experience from childhood and how I always handle stuff by myself. They were shocked by the independence and the freedom I got. However, to me, there’s always a good side and a bad side about it. I’m independent and don’t get homesick at all. But at the same time since I spent my most of my time at schools, I’m always confused about the idea of home. “So, where’s your home? Where are you from?” My repetitive hesitation stops with all the self-doubt questions with conflicting answers, “Is my parent’s home my home?”, “but I didn’t spend a lot of time in that home”, “Is my aunt’s home my home?”, “But she’s not my mom”, “Are my schools my homes?”, “Schools can’t be home, and it does sound too ridiculous to say my home is school” … “What is the idea of home” becoming the ultimate question. And now I am here in New York, it is rather hard for me to answer when people here ask me “So, which part are you from in China”, I will simply say “Shanghai”, even though, on my government issued ID it says Ningbo, and on my class writing, I say I’m a world citizen.
Being a Chinese, a bit of dis-orientated one, is easier to adapt into different environment as well as different culture style. I always dress in boho with a little piece of element that represents my ethnicity and nationality background.
4. Internship at XINLELU BOUTIQUE
Overview of the XINLELU BOUTIQUE
This summer, I got an internship at XINLELU BOUTIQUE store, which is a well-known multi-brand store in Shanghai, China. The core idea of the store is to redefine Shanghai girls life style. All the pieces are elegant and simplistic with a slim of details. Every piece capture the essence of the Shanghai Fashion that hasn’t changed for decades. And they sort of changed my dress style into a more delicate, more sophisticated, and more feminine way. I used to wear a lot of casual male suits. But now, I try to minimize the time I wear those.
There are two huge parts that distinct XINLELU from any other Chinese multi-brands store. One is non-trendy, and the other is Chinese Designer supporter. Instead of trendy, people will describe it as elegant, classic, and durable. And most of the designers are Shanghai based. When I was there, it actually opened my eyes with a fresh look of embodiment of Chinese element and designer’s own stuff. And it makes me rethink of designing with other Chinese element.
5. Buddhism
The Buddha sculptures from Lingyin Temple, Hangzhou. I took it in Summer.
I was raised and born in a Buddhism family. I avoid wearing Christianity, Catholic, Muslim, or any other religious related symbol like cross, Virgin Mary. When I was 13, I accidentally bought a book with an abstract cross on the cover, my mom was mad at me, blaming my sister’s bad grades on me. She thought it was because of that book, the Buddha was angry at my family. Yes, it does sound ridiculous. I had a fight with my mom by telling her reluctantly that religion should not be the doctrine for every single detail in our lives.
Another reason I don’t wear them is that I simply don’t like the symbols of them.
To avoid the fight with my mom, and for my own preferences, I never wear any religious related elements- especially skull, cross, bible related figure.
6. Camping
I went camping at Tom Jones last year.
19 years old girl who loves camping just sound right. Camping is my favorite outdoor activity since high school. I love nature. My family always visited temples all around the world, especially in China. Often times temples in China are on beautiful mountains. So, I got chances to explore nature in China. I used to go camping 4 times a year, however, since I moved to New York I missed the camping life a lot. In order to make me feel better, I often wear climbing shoes to pretend I am actually exploring in the city. I don’t know if I will keep this as my interest when I am older.
Work Cited:
Kaiser, Susan. 2012. Fashion and Cultural Studies. London: Berg.
