Object Study #4, the note from my first love, is likely to have the most influence on my object’s development for my avatar because the story behind it deals with finding the strength to forgive and the power of forgiveness.
My object, a letter written to me from my dad, symbolizes the growth of my relationship with him and applies to others because it demonstrates the importance of owning up to your mistakes and forgiving those who wrong you. At one point, my relationship and trust in him was very broken because of some decisions he made that hurt my family. I held onto a lot of anger for years because of this and our relationship continued to deteriorate as time went on; he continued to make poor decisions and I refused to sympathize or strive to fix things. After some time and lots of reflection, I realized harboring this negativity was hurting myself more than it was him, and that if I reached out to him instead, the relationship wasn’t doomed. Fast forward a few years, I received this letter from him that spoke of nothing but love and admiration for me and even thanks for encouraging him to overcome his mistakes. It was that letter that put the growth and strengthening of our relationship in perspective to me because reading it, I knew he now was a more than a dad to me but a role model, a support system, and a best friend. Looking back on where our relationship shifted, it started with taking responsibility, apologizing, and forgiveness on both our parts. Forgiveness has continually proven itself to be one of the most powerful things I possess because it can bring peace, even when someone isn’t sorry. My avatar’s mission is to overcome hurt and hate and to bring peace through forgiveness, understanding, and love. The poem, How To Be A Person by Shane Koyczan, illustrates this concept perfectly with these lines; “3. Apologize, you will not always be right, you will not always be wrong, you will hopefully always be learning, atonement is a sacrifice of pride, explanation of why you did what you did or said what you said will not vindicate you, if the cost to heal someone is only your pride, then apologize and be grateful that you received peace at such a bargain.
4. Forgive, realize that some are still learning, if forgiveness is not possible then think of everything you have ever wanted to be forgiven for but weren’t, hold that uneasiness in your mind until you feel your desire for absolution becoming a wish, realize you can grant this wish for others”