Assignment: Look back in our memories and create “I remember…” statements.
I remember yogurt drinks. The ones you get from the Korean market, with the red aluminum tops.
I remember my watermelon dress.
I remember stepping into Kindergarten, hands shaking, already missing my mom who was right behind me.
I remember rice grains stuck on my cheeks.
I remember my finger tightly wrapped around my dad’s finger.
I remember Disney World from my dad’s shoulders, and the sweat dripping from my face onto his.
I remember orange popsicles during recess.
I remember jumping from couch to couch, pretending the floor was lava.
I remember my best friend from elementary school, Danielle, and her black bangs and shrill laugh. (We don’t talk anymore.)
I remember stealing stuffed animals from my sister’s bed, and taking them to my own room so that they could meet my own toys. She stormed in after she came back from school and yelled at me until I cried.
I remember the blue and white stuffed bear she got me for Christmas. I named him snowcone.
I remember the red and green stuffed bear my brother got for me for my birthday. It sang a little song when I pressed its hand. I lost it a couple years later, and at the time, I didn’t think much of it. But now, it’s one of my biggest regrets.
I remember the day my brother left my life.
I remember the sound of the ambulance, ringing but soft in my ears.
I remember my mom’s cry went on for days straight.
I remember being scared by my brother and my cousin as they donned their clown masks. (I’ve been scared of clowns ever since).
I remember that one strand of hair on my dad’s adam’s apple that wouldn’t go away. No matter how often my sister and I pulled it out.
I remember our big lawn.
I remember my black bruise. It would live on forever in all my childhood photos.
I remember my Tinkerbell one piece swimsuit, with the sparkly green tutu attached.
I remember my first art class, as I followed my sister into our neighbor’s basement. Our neighbor gave private art lessons, and I remember holding that pastel in my grimy hands.
I remember the staircase that wrapped around the front entrance of the first house I lived in. It looked so big as I tumbled down it from my sister’s shoulders.
I remember my grandparent’s house in Korea, and the distinct smell of kimchi and anchovies. (I got used to it after a couple days and some complaining.)
I remember my grandma’s old retirement home. That smell wasn’t pleasant either; it was always of old ladies’ perfume and rotting.
I remember going to the beach. The beach by the casinos in Atlantic city. It was here that I witnessed my parents fight for the first time.
I remember the whiteness and sterility of the doctors office. Though I was with both my brother and sister, I was scared and shaking, because I absolutely hated the idea of a needle going into me.
I remember the Trader Joe’s in Shady Grove.
I remember the bathroom in my grandparent’s house in Korea. I was shocked that there was no bathtub or shower, just the tiled floor, a showerhead, and a bucket right by the toilet and sink.
I remember the convenience store in the front.
I remember the living room late at night, where my grandpa would sneak me ice cream and watch cartoons as the bright sun rose.
I remember my uncle’s room in the corner. I never went in there; it stank of sweat and cigarettes.
I remember the very small tv. It was perfect for the very small me.
I remember the balcony from which my younger cousin yelled at me to never come back.
I remember the oval mirror with the flower ornaments in which I did my younger cousin’s hair.
I remember sleeping on the floor, and how the back window always had to be kept open because my grandmother had superstitions about sleeping with fans on.
I remember the kitchen I danced through, my small body navigating through its tight spaces.
Reflection:
It was interesting to see where my mind would take me when trying to remember specific details of moments in the past. It jumped all over the place because one moment would trigger something completely different. However, I wasn’t completely sure if the sensory details of these memories were exact, or if they were just what my mind assumed or made up about the situation. Nonetheless, this was an interesting and nostalgic exploration.
