– Artist Statement
My grandpa passed away when I was thirteen. At his funeral, I got to know what it feels like losing a loved one. The intangible concept of “death” that often seems far away from me at that moment appeared so close. But it is not until recently I told my mother about my research on deathbed visions that she told me grandpa had been “seeing” deceased people as well. I asked her why she kept me from knowing about grandpa’s visions, and the answer is coherent with what existing research all suggest: hallucinations are irrational and crazy that make the dying undignified and embarrassed.
Deathbed visions are alleged observations of other persons or scenes by the dying person that are not observable by others in the same room some hours, days, or weeks before death. Often misunderstood as simply drug-induced hallucinations and signs of “unconsciousness” or “craziness” of the dying one, even medical professionals often regard such phenomena as meaningless or harmful symptoms. However, deathbed visions are natural and common phenomena occurring at the end of our lives. The visions are private, mysterious, unpredictable, and have significant connotation on human’s essential need of love and connection. Deathbed visions affect emotions of the dying and permeate the dying person’s outlook toward death encompassing also their caregivers, and both the dying and their caregivers are defined and inwardly affected. The end-of-life phenomena should be better introduced and understood.
The unpredictable, dream-like feelings of deathbed visions inspire the design of the installation including sculptures, drawings, and a video. Instead of giving the viewers a solid definition and explanation of the phenomena, the installation is meant to contextualize the private visions in a poetic way, allowing the viewers to experience rather than to define. In the center of the room stand five sculptures. Each sculpture represents a common theme of deathbed visions showed up in interviews based in India, Republic of Moldova, and United Kingdom — reunion, comfort, support, prognosis, and companionship. Hung to the ceiling in the center of the five larger-than-man size sculptures is another sculpture: plaster hands sinking among the cotton under the wave-like, shining plastic sheet. The hands represent the “human connection” as the reoccurring element in the visions; cotton, soft, warm, welcoming the touch with a dream-like feeling; the plastic sheet, tenderly separates the two worlds — reality and hallucinations. A single sight of the cotton makes you wanna touch and feel, yet the plastic sheet prevents you from actually feeling it. Extend your hand, touch, disillusioned. This is what the experience of death vision can be like for people, the vision can be comforting and welcoming in preparing you for a peaceful death, or the disillusionment can sometimes make the person feel ashamed, embarrassed, or undignified. Five drawings of the sculpture are hung to the wall, and the center wall is where a video will be projected. In the video, ten examples of deathbed visions from recent interviews are read while the center cotton and plastic sheet sculpture is filmed. A clip of heartbeat is added to both the beginning and the end of the video, implying the essence of deathbed visions — human.
-Drawings
-Sculptures
Five plaster hands are sunk among cotton, covered by a distorted vinyl sheet shaped with a heat gun, creating a wave-like motion as if the vinyl sheet is disturbed by the hands from below.
Companionship
In the five free-standing sculptures, I choose to use “hand” as the reoccurring element — hands in different positions and in the form of a handprint — because hands most commonly used when human physically connect with one another among all body parts, whether between family, friends, or lovers.
Companionship: one hand emerged from the circle base while another hand, coming from the air, stays on top of it. The sense of companionship in deathbed visions is often elicited by the appearance of deceased ones; therefore the hand on the top is made “floating” and as if coming from the air. If look closely, the lower hand is carved in so that the fingers of the top hand are actually sunk into the bottom hand, emphasizing the deep sense of companionship.
Comfort
Comfort: An incomplete torso is molded with clay, and a handprint can be seen from its back. The torso is incomplete and seems gradually melting on the right side, suggesting the dying one’s life coming to an end (disappearance of one’s physical existence). The handprint on the back suggests comfort because we often gently pat others on the back when trying to comfort them.
Reunion
Reunion: Two hands coming from two opposite directions meet and melted into one another’s fingertips when meeting at the intersection of this infinity and double boomerang shape, showing the reunion of the two people from two worlds (down from the earth and up from the heaven).
Prognosis
Prognosis: The prognosis from deathbed visions is when the dying one knows that he or she is going to die. I translate the prognosis into a hand that becomes part of an hourglass; as the top part is diminishing, the hand feeling the rest of the sand coming down knows that time is running out.
Support
Support: I transform the emotional support in a physical form: a hand using its strength to lift up a heart (emotions).
-Video
I film the central sculpture (vinyl sheet covering hands and cotton) to create an abstract, soft and serene atmosphere. The audio of the video consists of ten clips of my friends reading the ten examples of deathbed visions from the research including at least one example from each of the five themes identified. The heartbeat sound is added to both the start and the end of the video, emphasizing the essence of the end-of-life experience — human.
I imagined the actual size of the sculptures to be larger-than-men, so I create a mock-up of what the exhibition space would possibly look like.
I sent the link of the video to one friend of mine prior to the critique, and she wrote the following comment:
