Katlyn Le Leal
Fan Wu
Design Studio 2
February 4th, 2019
a view on self-acceptance, creativity, and character
I have never seen myself as a designer; instead, I am a creative driven by self-expression to help others feel valued, validated and visible. Throughout the first year I never truly made a project about myself, always exploring themes of self-acceptance, body positivity, the effects of societal standards on the human psyche, and racial issues.
I have always felt as if I am floating bouncing around these different issues, but never feeling a part of them as if I am not worthy to be included in the “ingroup.” As a biracial person all my life has been a debate about my identity; am I Vietnamese, or Mexican, just another straight girl or actually a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. Am I other, a pariah that is complicated to even understand. All my life people have assumed who I am and in that categorized me into what they wanted me to be. For these reasons, I can never design for myself, but instead, create for others through my aesthetic.
I have always had a love for making things for other people and always have a person in mind when designing. Last semester I focused on creating one of a kind garments that made for specific people in my life. I find that designing for a model form, not as fulfilling, and understand that struggles of living in a size 6 5’ 9 worlds of fashion. Last semester I was able to make garments that not only brought people joy but took away the stuffiness I always associate with high fashion. Through photography and video, I was able to create a youthful, silly, frivolous mood that showed real people moving in my clothes. My aim through my designs is to be able to evoke emotions through clothing, while also creating gender-neutral inclusive sizing.
Over the years I believed that I had to choose what self and creativity means to me, but these conceptions are fluid and change depending on the day or the person you ask. Nothing in this world in concrete, it is always changing, finite in resources, and is more complex that we are aware of. I have come to accept that I will never know who I truly am, and will spend my lifetime evolving, growing, and challenging the concepts of my character, and my creativity.
