Since last Monday, our task in the Zine group was to refine what we wanted to do. And play around a bit. SO for our one specific zine on emotional works through visuals we made a task for ourselves to make 5 pieces based on our current emotions/mental health on 8 1/2 by 11 paper. Then next week on break ask the people we will be surrounded by on break to do the same. We were prompted to do this after something Amy said in that she wanted us to go into the community and reach out to children etc. But we felt that we didn’t even know how our friends, families, and lovers were at. So it seemed wrong to skip the people who are closest to you. But below are my 5 pieces, and besides that I have just been thinking of layout mentally and how we may be able to connect to the other groups…
This one came across me because I realize how much I have been nail bitting lately which is very unlike me. I look at why I have been doing this and it seems to stem from anxiousness/stress. And the only way to avoid this is to protect my nails in varnish. So I felt like that was the medium I needed to use first. I feel like I need protection, from who and from what I have no idea but I have just felt a constant stress from being unsafe. I started out in strokes similarly to how I would do my nails. Some of it goes too thick, some too thin and strokey. I liked this though because I feel like I am always one or the other, there isn’t a constant right now. After it was dried I just loved the back because it seemed ghostly or like a residue of past and from the current on the other side. And I realized that most of my pieces I made in this are dual, in which I feel my mental state constantly is. I can’t seem to find just an Okay state.
Then this weekend I have begun laying out the zine and will want critique from my group on it this week.
I have this constant urge all day everyday to just scream. And maybe I need to , but I am overwhelmed and ahhhhhhhhhhhh. 
This paper is a pressure paper. I have a tendency to be frusturated and I don’t like to put it on other people/friends etc. And since I just can’t find it comfortable quite yet to scream in public nor do I want to scare people, I find myself squeezing things, Personally I like paper, I think it makes a nice texture and a good firm pressure against myself. The words are not words we understand, they are a mistake in which I printed 100 sheets of blabber and I look at is constantly trying to figure it out.
I am tired. exhausted but I am a pusher. so iIpush myself. I am unhappy and honestly would like to stay in bed if I could but I know it isn’t any use. It is safe and comfortable for me (in which the structure I think will offer) . So I put a paper in my bed and slept with it for a night. I would like to do this with different material and for many a nights one day. But here are both sides. I find it humorous as it looks like a duvet to me. Like I am cocooning myself into it as I do to feel cozy.
We had a very strong meeting in class. I then scanned everyone else’s feelings/organized them/put them in the drive and will start to do layout for the zine this weekend.
What we need to do:
-Collect material
-Talk to our life lovers (not like literal lovers I just use that to mean the people we love in our lives) in order to make this a collaborative thing
-Begin Layout !!!
Also still no one from locations has emailed me back…
