Looking down, I twist my foot outward. Glancing at my pointed-toe heels, my eyes scan myself upward. The jersey-cotton wrap dress comforts me like an ongoing hug; I habitually adjust my steam-pressed collar. Quickly distracted however by my special Oprah mind-control bracelet that lights up to signal that someone is about to speak, to instruct us to do something, or to beam us to look up to the mothership, I look and receive a steady heart. Continue with regular pace. With a high chin, and pressed back shoulders I boldly enter the scene. I AM a citizen of Oprahtopia.
Strolling down the avenue, I am accompanied by other optimists also taking the opportunity to enjoy the new day by moseying. Sniffing up the favorite scent of gourmands, my nostrils slightly tingle despite my growing tolerance of it. Storefronts are only colored in neutrals and jewel tones, similar to basic accessories, which of course make the rehabilitation town aesthetically pleasing. Passing the occupied beauty spa and salon filled with women holding their own copy of “O,” I almost enter the anticipated addition to the town, the Nate Berkus Interior Design Boutique. Yet, the roaming heart begins to pulse. My pristinely white bracelet signals with such a calming tempo, yet my own heart races with an expedited rush due to my hunger for Oprah’s eloquent words. Glued to a screen, my chin exceeds its normal height in order to participate in today’s affair. Three-dimensional screens surround the whole audience of the town, but never below us, including our phones. Oprah doesn’t deserve that type of demeaning presence. Instead, all things are dropped loose; I pop back onto the street instead of being in the middle of Nate’s doorframe, purposefully aged with beauty. The iconic “O” dissolves off the screen and gracefully replaced by large curls and the reassuring smile, the goddess herself. Oprahhhh.
Girlish squeals come out of grown women and men, filling the air as her presence greeted us. Her alto voice echoes against the painted brick walls, encouraging us to check out her latest production of an award-winning movie inspiring us to “say yes to life.” Fluttering away with aroused thoughts towards the movie, I struggle to center back to her monologue. But by then, her regal wave equalized to her final farewell for the day. Chin twisted to the right towards Nate’s sign. “Do you need this? You need to buy what empowers you, not distracts you” I hear Oprah say in my mind. So I steer back onto the mosaic pavement, also in jewel tones, and a bit farther down into the systematic café filled with delectable calorie-crunching Weight Watchers. Our mouths no longer heavily salivate towards food, thank goodness!
After calculating my total intake calories (excitedly I’ve lost 1 pound this week!), and paying gratitude instead of currency, I take a seat on a paisley, upholstered couch. Knees crossed. Being receptive to others by building community, we do not engage with instant gratification because it leads to unhappiness. Therefore, with that mindset, we remain absent of smart phones or tablets in public. Sitting in the café with other pleated skirts, knit shawls and v-neckline blouses, we all tune into the “Where Are They Now?” episodes as we munch away our food.
Oprah truly at heart always has the best intentions for us citizens of bravery, which is why many of us join Oprahtopia. We all have our own stories of hurt, struggles, and addictions. But once you join this environment, you realize, “How did you ever live without Oprah?” Therefore, what turned into a club, then transformed into a community, and now a town. With blessed intentions, our town continuously expands, never detracting! Only few are “rehabilitated…” but simply ungrateful for Oprah’s excellence and so they pass through the golden gates. Some people look up to these “graduates” with awe, but they are also new to the community. These exiles are imbeciles. Everyone needs Oprah in their lives. So when the “Where Are They Now?” episodes air, I roll my eyes as they update about the few who leave. I find the actual episode hypocritical too because most of them move back into Oprahtopia after filming. They long for her magnificence. I would be too if I were them.
Pulling down skirt over the knees and beginning to rise up off the couch, I melt back into my warm nook. Pulsing heart by the silicon O Bracelet again. Time to Journal. Besides keeping myself accountable to my “needs vs. wants” this morning, I lacked emotional impact that I wanted my journal to showcase. My journal HAS to be pristine with details of memories and incredible stories… that way it’s easier to publish when Oprah discovers me and lists it in her Book Club. Unnoticeably, I shift into a trance, reliving rereading her favorite and most admirable books. Comforted by Oprah and oddly this couch I’ve sat in for a lengthy amount of time by now, I drift slowly away into this peaceful Heaven formed by Oprah.
I’m going farther…farther……….farther…………to rest.

1 Comment

  1. Mike Rooney · April 8, 2024 Reply

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