Memory was a good focus word to choose. Identity is another huge topic for me and I do think that our pasts determine bits and pieces of who we are. In this way, having the allowance to remember being built in to a curriculum was nice. Basing every assignment off of our own personal memories provides space for some sort of catharsis. One of the very first pieces of writing we did ended up being a reflection on my time at my old school. The I remembers came at a time when I needed to remember the good stuff. The fact that they were led by an uncensored train of thought allowed me to do just that. The dream journals came at a time when I needed to understand and articulate a lot of subconscious feelings, and tracking dreams became the perfect outlet. The found poetry self portrait allowed for self reflection at a time when a lot of things seemed to be changing, myself included, and I needed to remind myself what stood at the core of it all for me. I was even able to sneak some self counselling into the assignment. One poem, a conversation between me and myself reads,
“What can I do? None of it ever changes.
You are learning not to hurt you. Your efforts are not in vain.
I want to give up. It remains.
Accept that.”
In my efforts to ward off depression and anxiety, I often have to remind myself that although these illnesses will most likely remain with me forever, working towards self love and self care is still valuable and necessary even if it has no effect on the way I’m feeling in the moment.
Even aside from my own personal circumstances, this class does a lot in the way of catharsis. It really is therapeutic as well as enlightening to remember and make connections from past to present as it relates to self, others and the world around us.
