One cannot ever vicariously feel the experiences of another. There can never be 100% empathy. A social blind spot is invariably present among us all, which is justified by the inability to recognize and portray emotions in the self. I have discovered that this blind spot takes up a whole chunk of my identity, which includes unpopular opinions and perspectives I am insecure about.
The traditional mindset on gender roles I have experienced has added to my constant back and forth between what I stand for and what people around me do. The male gaze objectified me and taught me to feel disgusted by my own body. At a young age I took this upon myself- criticized internally and in turn felt hurt, unsafe, scared and most importantly out of control. If you want to be seen as an equal in what historically has always been a man’s world, then unfortunately you have to try and think like a man, play like a man and hold yourself like a man. This was my response. I turned to embracing my sexuality which is the only way I felt seen.
My work as a visual artist focuses on taking the idea of objectification into my own hands and redirecting focus from parts of the body privy to the male gaze. I have always experienced arriving at locations with a label; there isn’t much agency to travel around this. Through my main medium of sculptures and textiles, I create work that reflects on objectification and refocusing a shift in power. I intend for my work to be jarring and to hold the viewer’s attention in a way where they want to look away but can’t. For me, this symbolizes the diversity in gaze and allows me to reveal my contemplations in a more all-inclusive manner. My art doesn’t resolve issues, moreover it is a literal buffer between me and my internal conflict.
