I’ve had a rough week so unfortunately, I am a bit behind schedule… I was going to remake my calendar but I think it’ll be a good incentive to get back on track, hopefully, I’ll be able to push past the things I’ve been dealing with a get back on schedule. I completed some more of the panels, I haven’t sorted out what I’m going to do in terms of layout with the text. I also wrote the next poem from the perspective of the foot soldier and I’ve designed the “medic” vehicle so it should be smooth sailing for the third piece. I’ve been jumping around and completing specific pannels for different pieces that way I have the design already done for when I move fully onto that poem… If that made sense… I’m not sure if I am going to write one or two more poems to wrap up this project, if it ends up being two more I am going to try and make them shorter. I also may do fewer illustrations that way I can focus more on the quality rather than the quantity. I’m going through some of the panels I completed already since I’m tweaking the style to look less “clean” or “polished” in terms of the linework and shading. I felt that the original looked too much like stock illustration photos you’d find in a school textbook.
Unnamed poem #4
What is a fair price for survival?
they said we were ones brave enough to do what others could not
a necessary sacrifice for the future
they said the earth would be rebuilt anew
the promise of Eden
for the promise of our sworn loyalty
yes, for I am brave enough to do what others would not
for I would do anything for my children
but
in the new world, the one I helped build
would my family see me as a hero?
or as a beast who took the souls of families no different than ours
perhaps I am the behemoth I fear my wife sees me as
I fear that in my efforts to do right
I have created more destruction
for us, the infantry
the sirens and tires driving over rubble
drown out the endless melody of execution
yet never loud enough to deafen the sounds of my sins
as we tour around the world
moving from show to show
leaving behind those considered weak by the commanders for their unwillingness to join
a world born of blood
it becomes more clear
with each respite from the carnage
I realize
I am the coward and others pay my debt
