I usually just take selfies with no specific ideas. And the pictures can really show the real me at that time. I never think about to dig out the deep inner side of myself. Taking “fake” photos really pushes me to consider totally different characteristics which I never showed before.
Real: casual/extraverted/calm (up-down)
The three real pictures are the side I usually showed in front of everyone. This is the way how I regard myself and what I look like in my friends or parents’ mind. I usually wear casually, and my life is kind of casual style. I am not a picky person and can almost accept anything. What is more, I am pretty extraverted or in other words, I am always with smile and like making friends. Also, I think since I am eighteen years old, I became calmer to face the problems than before. That “calm photo” was taken at my eighteen birthday which is pretty meaningful for me and I hope I can be more mature during the life going on.
Fake: Demonic/sorrowful/loneliness (up-down)
On the other hand, the three fake pictures are completely opposite about expressing myself. The demoniac one looks a little creepy, but it is a way that I really want to show someday but definitely will not be a part of my normal life. I got an exaggerated makeup to show the wildness. Putting into black and white filter creates the atmosphere of the dark side. It makes me feel like I am out of control and go crazy. I often watch some cartoons like there are two inner gods living in people’s mind—one is the demon and the other is the angel. Thus, the picture is a way to show the little demon god. The next fake photo is about the sorrowful feelings. As I mentioned above, I usually keep smile on my face, so I try to get sad feeling to make the fake one. The grayscale of my picture can make the depression more obvious. Actually, when I pretend to be upset, the expressions on my face really makes me sad in my brain. Even if I just frowned, I cannot turn into happy face immediately. I cannot really imagine people who live with depression all the time, which must be a really tough time to go through. The last fake one is named Loneliness. The view of taking picture cannot really catch the way where my eyes looking at. The eyes without any focus makes me feel lonely because there is no one can talk or play. The feeling of loneliness can be shown through the eyesight and the angle of the picture.
Both real and fake pictures are with lots of my thoughts and they really make me think about myself more seriously.
