September | 2016 | wuj848's Blog

First draft

I remember I went to Beijing but didn’t go to the great wall, because my grandfather went to emergency of hospital.

I remember each smell of fragrances.

I remember I got call from the office because I didn’t do anything in my math class.

I remember I cried because my aunt told me not to eat because I was over weight.

I remember the grape corridor in my elementary school.

I remember I finished my level tenth certification of piano when I was fourteen.

I remember my mother divorce twice.

I remember the last time I saw my dad.

I remember the biggest fight with my grandmother.

I remember hot pot.

I remember the first hamburger came out from McDonald.

I remember I was bullying a pig with fire work.

I remember my first puppy die.

Final draft

I remember I went to Beijing but didn’t go to the great wall, because my grandfather went to emergency of hospital.

I remember each smell of fragrances.

I remember I got call from the office because I didn’t do anything in my math class.

I remember I cried because my aunt told me not to eat because I was over weight.

I remember the grape corridor in my elementary school.

I remember I finished my level tenth certification of piano when I was fourteen.

I remember my mother divorce twice.

I remember the last time I saw my dad.

I remember the biggest fight with my grandmother.

I remember hot pot.

I remember the first hamburger came out from McDonald.

I remember I was bullying a pig with fire work.

I remember my first puppy die.

I remember who was the first person tell me “ I love you”.

I remember I play dinosaurs toys with my cousin.

I remember the day my mom move to United States.

I remember how excited I was when the first time my mom came back from United States.

I remember I cried everyday when my mom leave in the morning to the work.

I remember I cried, because I didn’t want to go the school.

I remember I the feeling of missing my grandmother.

I remember I cried, because my grandmother didn’t buy me the toy that I want.

I remember my each birthdays.

I remember my first necklace.

I remember the day that my sister born.

I remember my first boyfriend.

I remember I much that I used to love chocolate.

I remember I was very fat.

I remember I was very sick and stay in hospital for two months.

I remember my graduation, and I was beautiful.

I remember the movement that I got the accepted letter from Parsons.

I remember I was placing into 1600 for ESL.

I remember how happy I was when I transfer from 1600 to 1700.

I remember today and yesterday.

I remember Each important movement in my life.

I remember her name , his name, and my name.

I remember you and her and him..

I remember myself.

I remember what I remember.

Reflection:

After I did the first draft and my partner did my peer editing. I recognized that my draft was too short, and some of contexts were not make sense. Therefore, I fixed some sentences, and add more contexts about my deep memory in it. Overall, I finished my final draft. I think is good, but not perfect. It has more elements can add on, and the memory can be more deeper and deeper.