I stood in front of the mirror and told myself I would be fine.
I caressed my face the way he used to; through my hair, across my chest, along/beside my breast. I went through every single memory, analyzing every second, every step, every kiss. I remembered our walks on the beach, and the way he held my hand as I fell in love with him, slowly. I remembered the breeze on my face, and his hair moving with the wind. The sand between my toes. The feel of water and the sun. His smell.
In that moment, I tried to convince myself that I would be fine. But how would I, if now it is me, and not him, the one who grazes my body.
I closed my eyes and imagined him behind me, pulling my hair behind my ear, whispering what he always said, confessing his love for me. Oh, those words. The world will never witness a more genuine love.
Now, I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is him. I know I must stop, for me, for him, for us. But I can’t, and I doubt I will.
It is funny how things can vanish without notice- like dust, like wind. How the world can decide who stays and who doesn’t. Who lives and who dies. Oh God, what plans do you have for me? What is it that you want? Why did you take him from my life? Did you want him for yourself? Oh, selfish soul.
Let me hold his hand one more time. Let me go back to the memories, to his body, his breath. Just one more time.
And then, just then, I will be fine.
