Monologue:
Prior to entering the house, the two people who claimed to be my family members turned and told me that the home that we were entering was extremely different from the home that I once grew up in. I replied that I was fine with it, but on the inside, I was trembling. I was extremely scared that if the place was too different, I’d want to run away and never look back. However, I had to confront my past. I took a deep breath, cleared my doubts, and went in
I pressed on into this place that was vastly different from any place I remember throughout my entire life, however the two strangers in front of me called it “home”. Everything in this place, from the furniture to the upholstery, was completely new. The carpets were a series of vibrant colors, the furniture seemed extremely new and clean. I could not recognize a single part of this place, save for a few trinkets lying around that were old family relics. I continued walking around this place, not saying a word to either of the people in front of me that I was supposed to know, but didn’t.
I walked towards a room and prior to opening the door, I hesitated, I was sweating, on the door was a wooden plaque with my name written on in ink. I was not sure how much more I could handle, but, swallowing my fear, I walked in. The room I entered was fairly small, but to me, it felt like I was in an isolated space that I had no business being in. The room was filled head to toe with unused furniture, and all the items were gathering dust. I stood in the center and took everything in, I remember vividly how this room looked at once, after all, it was my room for about 12 years, but this…this was nothing like any area I’d ever seen before. Upon looking a bit further, I found something that I’d never expected to see. I found a small painting, it was completely covered in dust, and upon wiping it off, I saw a painting that haunted me. It was a painting of a young boy and his mother. I couldn’t stare at the painting for much longer and tried to leave the room. I made it through the sea of discarded furniture and slammed the door behind me upon exiting.
I stood against the door for what felt like an eternity, and I could not move. I felt like screaming, because all the memories came rushing back to me, but they did not feel like my memories. The memories I got from those discarded items felt like they belonged to another child who did not live there. The person who had lived in that room at one point was someone who did not exist anymore, and that room was a memorial to him. I wanted to leave, it was too much to be in this place that I was supposed to call home, however, before I chose to, I was summoned for a meal.
Now I was eating a meal, I made my way to a room that was extremely well decorated, in the middle was a beautiful wooden table, underneath was a gorgeous red and brown carpet, but the rest of the room was remarkably monotonous. I sat down on the carpet and stared at the dish lying in front of me. I stared around this room, where my family spent all our time together, and saw how much it changed, before I left, I remember the area being extremely simple, consisting of a table and four chairs. Now, there were decorations on the walls, the curtains a blood red the room far brighter than I remember. The table I sat at was made of very finely carved and decorated wood. I could not believe that this was truly my family who I’d left as an adolescent. I was looking at my “sister” in wonder and attempted to speak with her. While speaking to her, I started feeling like I was talking to someone I remembered, I could not believe it, but on the inside, I knew she was not the same person that I’d left when I departed for the harbor. I felt the same about my “mother”, I was comfortable talking to her, but it didn’t feel like I was talking to my mother. However, this was my fault, on the inside, I didn’t want to accept that this was my family. I couldn’t accept the change, but the change was something that I had to live with.
Upon finishing our meal, they then asked me how I was feeling to be back at this house, to be honest, I didn’t know, while I was extremely happy to be back, I unfortunately didn’t feel like I was home. I felt like a completely different person who didn’t belong here, but that’s when it hit me. I didn’t have to feel like I was a stranger, it was only my memories that made me feel like this, but I could choose whether or not I would let my memories get in the way of my perceptions of my family. However, it didn’t find it right to let my memories get in the way of what I thought of my family, they were who they were and that was enough for me.
After the meal, I left for the port feeling much better about myself, not because I finally met my family again, but because I finally chose to let go of the memories of my “idealistic” family and accept my family for who they were.
Photos of Postcards:
Original Work:
Piece: A Shipwreck on Stormy Seas
Artist: Claude Joseph Vernet
Year: 1773
Thesis: Memory and place are the tools that people use to make choices in certain situations, while their actions that are influenced by memory are what is used by others to define them in the present.
The original process was finding a painting from the MET, I chose A Shipwreck on Stormy Seas and took multiple pictures of multiple different parts. Next, I drew out the initial parts of the postcards. Following that, I took the image into Photoshop and decided to add a series of effects to it, and I also chose to overlay it with parts from a twin piece for this which was Vernet’s “A Grand View of the Seashore Enriched with Buildings Shipping and Figures”, then I cut it into several pieces and used those as my postcards. The greatest challenge I had with this project was simply time. I found it to be extremely difficult to focus on working on this because I was busy doing other work and it kept coming back to bite me. In addition, I originally wanted to try drawing the postcards, however, I also had difficulty with that because I’m not proficient at all when it comes to drawing and so I scrapped that for a more digital approach. I discovered that doing it digitally is probably my strong suit as it came out far better than when I did it on paper.
Very noice