I was the daughter of XXX. I was really close to him. He always read to me before I went to sleep. I love to ask him strange questions, so he wrote a book for me. All of that is about answers from the science sight of my wired questions. In my memories, my mom is a careless person, she is still a kid. That makes him seems more all-around person. He was busy, but he also has time to take care of me and spend time with me. For now, I always feel guilty that we are not close anymore. Is this all because I changed, I grow up. He always says he loves me more than love himself, which makes me feel bad. Because I’m so selfish and I love myself more than him. He always says I’m the biggest proud of him. I feel stressed, for I always make mistakes and there are too many things that worth him to be proud. In his mind, I was better than I actually is. He still feels I was his little girl. I can’t take care of myself, I can’t deal well the relationship with others, I can’t organize my life well. But actually, I already learned how to cook when I study in America. I did go through with something bad by myself. I learned a lot about how to recognize whether people are suitable for me to be my friend. He will show an upset face when I don’t need him. And I feel tired of pretending. Of cause I love him. Though I feel he knows few about the real me. For now, I was trying to let him update. I’m also a person, not perfect. And because of this, I can protect my self better.
