- Be respectful of each other’s feelings, and our own, and to be respectful of all cultures, races, sexual orientations, gender identities, religions, class backgrounds, abilities, and perspectives when speaking.
- Be attentive: How do we attend? We listen closely, and we participate. If we usually don’t talk much, we will challenge ourselves to speak more, and press into our speaking skills. If we find ourselves talking more than others, we will speak less, and press into our listening skills.
- When you are speaking, express your personal response. You have a unique perspective, informed by your tradition, beliefs, and life practices. Speak from your heart, using “I” language to take ownership of what you say. Don’t tell others what to do or think as if it is a command. The only person you can truly speak for is yourself.
- Honor privacy. If you tell others about stories or ideas from this class, leave the names of participants in the room so that no one’s identity will be revealed. Ask permission before sharing someone else’s innermost thoughts.
- “One Person, One Mic”: No interrupting. One person will speak at a time.
- Ask clarifying or open-ended questions. Use them to further your understanding, and to explore assumptions.
- Try to listen without judgment. The purpose of dialogue is to come to an understanding of another person, not to determine whether the person is good, bad, right, or wrong. If you are sitting there thinking, “That’s good,” “That’s bad,” “I like that,” or “I don’t like that,” you are having a conversation in your own mind, not listening to the speaker.
- Agree to Disagree, but don’t disengage. Listen for understanding, not to agree with or believe. You do not have to agree with or believe anything that is said.
- Disagreeing with others must always occur in a careful, respectful, and constructive manner. Controversy should be about positions (which can be changed), not personalities (which are much harder to change).
- WAIT: “Why Am I Talking.” Honor silence, and time for reflection. Notice what wants to be said rather than what you want to say.
- Stay present – take care of yourself. We ask that you stay present for each class, and lean into moments of discomfort as places of learning. It is ok if you need to take a break, but please excuse yourself respectfully, and do what you can to return to the space, and continue engaging.
- Recognize our own, and others’ privilege: When entering a space, and speaking, being aware of privilege based on race, age, experience, sex, gender, abilities, class, etc.
- Suspend status. Everyone is an equal partner in a mutual quest for insight, and clarity. You are each an expert in your own life, and that’s what you bring to the dialogue process.
- Limit cell phones, texting, etc. to breaks. If you have an emergency, or need to stay aware of your phone for any reason, please inform your instructor, and be respectful of ongoing discussion.