My research for this project consisted of steady sketching and analysis of personal experiences, like that in the notes above. I spend a lot of time alone, though surrounded by people, which relates directly back to Freud’s ideas about the conscious and unconscious. A lot of my thoughts are suppressed due to the fact that I have no where to put them; I have no one to feed them to, most of my friends are as busy as me. Sometimes it truthfully feels like I have no time to think. I explore this and a couple of other ideas without a filter in the notes I took.

I drew a lot of inspiration from Kerry James Marshall. He is one of my favorite artists and his work, to me, evokes a lot of nostalgia and familiarity. I want my artwork to do the same, but also include the importance of Lacan’s dialogue about the mirror stage and the child recognizing themselves for the first time. I tried to make the pieces recall each other–to make them related, but also to have differentiating representations of myself in each image, the way a child might recognize him or herself before they realize what they actually look like. I tried to call upon ways I may have seen myself before; like in an object I find myself with often (like my coat which is featured in one of the pieces) or a birthmark or defect (what the dynamite stick has become since it is a tattoo I actually have on my body) and drew it into each piece.

My own artwork inspired me a lot too, as I started to feel really comfortable letting myself create how I want to instead of how I feel I should.

I’m in a Nude: History and Theory class and I definitely drew inspiration from that as well (which is apparent in the nude figures in my piece). I just found it extremely interesting how we studied barely any bodies of color and there are so many artworks focused on the nude black body as well as the white one.

I watch a lot of cartoons. These have a huge impact on my artwork, because the shows aren’t necessarily child safe but they look like children should be watching them. I wanted my work to look childlike while having a deeper, more mature message to back it.

I spend most of my time at work, so I obviously drew inspiration from there as well. I would say that everything in my store has a place; an architect creates the layout for each A.P.C. store in the company, and he took a lot of time on our store. He was patient and made sure that it would have a lasting impression on everyone who entered it. That’s how I wanted my artwork to be.

My Best friends had a baby recently, her name is A’maya. She’s so beautiful, and she’s constantly on camera. While thinking about the Mirror Stage, I thought of A’maya a lot because I wonder if she knows that these images of her are being viewed by thousands of people (her parents have a large social media following) or even if she cares. I wonder what it does for the baby’s mind to know that they are being filmed or photographed; I wonder how that consequently effects their outlook of the world. I thought of this during the conception of the final pieces.

Lastly, I always draw inspiration from the streets of New York since I am constantly walking. I love looking at all of the things around me and going home and creating an image based on what I had seen. This, I believe, is also apparent in the pieces.

The final products.