Waiting to catch the N train, standing on the platform with my face behind my phone was oddly frightening. I was so self-conscious with thoughts such as, “Who will try to steal my phone? What if someone decided to shove me over the yellow line? Am I blocking anyone?” All things my parents consistently remembered to warn me about when being cautious while I am walking around the city. Right then I was breaking just about every rule they set for me before the Fall semester when I left home in New Jersey.
I tried my hardest to block out any outside noise by listening to music on Spotify, checking my emails, reading downloaded books, and trying to text my parents. Of course I had no service at most of the subway stops, but even trying to spot if I had a few bars in the tunnels so I could text my parents and let them know I was alright will sometimes distract me from the outside world.
My theory is if I had this experience in another setting, my feelings towards the environment may have changed. When interviewing Alicia Raines about her perspective of the time she spent distracting herself on the computer at the UC cafeteria, she explained, “I just sat around doing homework. Honestly, I picked the location because it was right after class. I have probably only been there five times, but I think I liked it better when I was on my electronics because when I was aware of my surroundings I looked around at everyone with each other and hanging out and I was there by myself. That day was like most of the other times I have gone, I am typically on my phone by myself. I do think if was at a different place like the subway I would have gotten a whole different experience because in that environment you would need to use a lot more of your senses.” [1]
In my situation, due to safety factors and all the events happening around me all at once in a busy location, I felt more comfortable knowing my phone and computer were safely tucked away.
Even though our feelings were completely different, the way we experienced both a non focused and focused situation in our own environments were alike. When asking Alicia how she felt about her experience she mentioned, “When I was doing my homework I was so focused on what I was doing and I was so deep into my own world that I just didn’t think of anything except for my own thoughts and the paper.”1
On my ride back to Union Square from Midtown, I started notice things in the subway that I had missed out when I not looking at my environment. The overall experience of being more aware felt different and more open. I started to see the common things you see in stations from the ads on the wall for Lion King on Broadway and an iPhone app called “Squarespace”, to the art I feel as if most people don’t typically pay attention to.
This station had beautiful aqua colored tiles lining the wall and shadow boxes embedded in them that contained glazed ceramic sculptures to create the masterpiece of Toby Buonagurio called Times Square Times: 35 Times. The theme behind the sculptures was to depict the different senses people feel while walking through Times Square and Midtown, whether it was from the smell of fresh pretzels or sound of street performances. I even passed by plenty of 9/11 memorials that I never even realized had been down there before even though I had come to the station hundreds of times before.
Then there was the music that travels throughout the long passageways such as a man belting out loud folk music at the top of his lungs. Usually I don’t hear the music playing down here because I have my music blasting through my headphones. Suddenly I felt bad because these artists were just trying to make a living just like as everyone else by displaying their talents. Yet, there I always was trying to tune them out for my own artificial music made in studios when there were live performances going on in the background.
When I got to the train I started hearing some conversations. I typically like to block out what I hear on the streets because I usually hear someone saying something foul or cat calling. That day I saw a man trying to point to his girlfriend some sort of phallic drawing on the seat she decided to sit on. Besides him, everyone else on the train remained silent. There were a few other conversations here and there, but now it was my turn to observe people half asleep and hidden behind their phones as I had been just a few hours before. No one really cared much for anything on the subway as commuting is such a mundane task to get through during the day.
Trying to be aware with all my senses I heard a few knuckles cracking and people speaking midway through the train ride. I started to feel a little chilly as there was a bit of a draft in the air. I had one of those head colds where you feel slightly too hot all over your body, but your head is freezing. Which was due to all my running around prior to that ride. The bags of fabric I was carrying started to weigh down my shoulders, and I started to feel a little bloated from eating too much food the night before. However, I could not depict any scents in the air that were distinguishable.
One thing that happened that day actually caught me so off guard I had to laugh at myself on my way home. On the subway ride I took to get to Midtown I passed by a man with a black smudge on his forehead. I thought it might have just been a beauty mark so I didn’t think much of it at the time and went back to reading my phone. It wasn’t until my second ride I sat down and saw five other people sitting on the train with similar marks when I realized that it was Ash Wednesday!
Alicia’s second part of her experience had been similar to mine where once she decided to unplug her devices, she was stunned by all the commotion she was just beginning to noticing. For the first time in a couple of hours, “I didn’t realize how loud everyone else was being, but when I finally decided to look around me I realized that it was a crowded place. I guess the feeling was like going from tunnel vision to noticing everything. When I stopped listening to my music and started working on stuff it was like a whole new world of surroundings.” [4]
I never realized what a difference it would make to be fully aware of your surroundings. Suddenly I was more connected to what was happening and I felt as if I was able to gain more from what was going on around me by looking up rather than down at my screen for once. I saw a seven-year-old girl playing with a pink iPhone down in the station that day and began thinking how the world has changed so much. I remember being her age and carrying around my parents’ old flip phones they no longer used with no battery in it pretending to dial fake numbers. Each generation is just so different from the next, and you never really become aware of that until you think back to your own past experiences.
[1] Raines, Alicia, Interview by author, February 14, 2016, New York, NY. digital recording.
[2] Times Sqaure Times: 35 Times by Toby Buonagurio, http://web.mta.info/mta/aft/permanentart/permart.html?agency=NYCT&line=A&station=5&artist=3
[3] Buonagurio, Toby and Edgar, Top, left to right: “Tourist Lady with Subway Map,” “Child with Hotdog Vendor,” “Subway Scene.” Bottom, left to right: “New Year’s Eve Party Dec. 31,” “Magic Show,” “Theater Mask-Female-Comedy” 2005, Times Square Times: 35 Times, Toby Buonagurio.
[4] Ibid. Raines, Alicia